How to Make a Friends with Benefits Relationship Work



If you’re not interested in having a full-blown relationship, a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship is the next best thing. In fact, for some people, it’s a dream situation. You get to have sex with someone you find attractive, hang out together, and not worry about all of the pressure that comes with serious relationships, like money issues and living arrangements.

But how do you make a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship work? What do you need to know about hooking up with a friend? And how do you avoid awkward situations further down the line?

In this article, we will tell you everything you need to know about making your ‘friends with benefits’ relationship work and share six golden rules with you that will help your relationship thrive. Let’s begin by looking at what a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship actually is.


What is a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship? 

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Is a friend with benefits someone you just have sex with? Well, yes and no. It’s a loosely defined, kind of no-mans-land-term when it comes to relationships, and it’s a title that can be used to describe many people’s romantic situations. 

For the purposes of this article, we’re working on the premise that a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship is:

“A sexual relationship between two consenting adults who were friends when they first hooked up. They enjoy hanging out & having sex without worrying about the baggage that often comes with long-term relationships. “

If that sounds like your current situation, then you will want to read on to ensure you learn exactly how to make your relationship work.

Should I hook up with one of my best friends? 

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You might find one of your friends really attractive and be open to the idea of cranking things up a notch. However, it’s a tricky situation. You could easily risk your whole friendship by suggesting the idea, as you don’t have a clue if the other person is up for it. 

Even if you think they’re giving off signals and flirting, you might be misreading the situation. Most ‘friends with benefits’ relationships happen naturally, often after a drunken hook-up or a moment of passion! 

If you’re looking to hook up with someone, we wouldn’t recommend just hitting on your hot friends! You can use dating apps to specifically find someone to have a casual FWB relationship with, so that’s a much better option than hitting on your existing friends. Take a look at these FWB sites if you choose this option.


The six golden rules of making a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship work

Now you know what a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship is, it’s time to introduce you to the six golden rules that will help your relationship will work.

Set some boundaries 

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Both participants in a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship need to set their boundaries and lay some ground rules. Maybe you don’t want to have sex in your apartment when your roommate is in. Or, perhaps you want to keep your relationship a secret from your other friends. 

Whatever you decide, you need to agree on the boundaries of your relationship with your ‘partner.’ You then both need to respect the rules you’ve set in place and have a conversation before making any changes. 

Always use protection

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It’s common sense to practice safe sex, regardless of the type of relationship you’re in. However, if you’re in a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship, you don’t want to have a pregnancy scare or pick up any STDs from your casual sexual encounters. 

This is vitally important if you’re not exclusive, and you’re both sleeping with other people at the same time. Be sure to speak openly about the use of protection, and don’t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable! 

After all, your sexual partner is your friend, and they will understand the importance of safe sex and be willing to talk it through with you. 

Don’t get jealous and clingy 

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One of the best things about a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship is that there are supposed to be no strings attached. If your friend has started seeing someone else and they tell you about it, you don’t have the right to get jealous and clingy. 

Remember, you both entered into the relationship knowing that you were two friends having sex, and each person has a chance of meeting someone new. Instead of getting jealous, if your ‘partner’ starts seeing someone else, offer to break things off for a while or move on yourself. Being jealous and clingy will ruin the relationship regardless of what else happens! 

Always arrange to hook up, don’t just drop by unannounced

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Don’t forget that you’re not in a formal relationship! You can’t just turn up at your friend’s apartment at any time you like and ask for sex. Not only is it rude, but they might have other plans or might even have someone else over. 

Agree with each other on the best way to arrange your hookups and stick to that arrangement. Whether it’s a WhatsApp message or a quick phone call, be considerate of the arrangements that you’ve made. 

Talk about your feelings

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Just because you’re not in a full-time relationship, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk about your feelings. In fact, it’s super important that you tell the other person how you feel

Having sex with someone is likely to arouse lots of feelings within you, and you might find you’re growing more and more fond of the person over time. If this is the case, you need to be open and honest and be clear about your intentions.

Know when to move on

While ‘friends with benefits’ relationships are undoubtedly fun, they have to end sometime! If things start to change, or if you want to end things and start a serious relationship with someone else, you need to know when to call it time. 

As long as you’ve been clear about your expectations and intentions throughout, your ‘partner’ will accept what you say and appreciate your honesty.


Final thoughts

There’s little doubt that a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship has the potential to be something special! It’s just super important that you and your ‘partner’ communicate effectively and set some boundaries early on. 

Providing you’re responsible and considerate; you can have a lot of fun with a good friend of yours. Hopefully, this article has helped you understand how to make a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship work.  


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Sophia Smith
Fashion and beauty blogger
Sophia Smith is Australian based beauty and fashion blogger. She is very passionate about latest fashion trends, DIY projects and organic beauty products. Sophia writes mostly in beauty and fashion related topics, mainly through blogs and articles. She is a regular contributor at High Style Life and many other blogs.
You can find out more about her writing following her on Twitter @sophia_bri
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