Louder, Softer, Harder, Faster. Are you using your words?


As an Intimacy Coach, I find that when I’m one-to- one with my clients they are very vocal about what’s missing and what’s not but when their partner joins – eyes drop to the floor quick! I’m not talking about people who have been together just a few short months either. This happens to couples who have been put in some serious time (over ten years!).

When communicating with your partner in the bedroom, don’t think you have to use full sentences! No need to get all poetic in bed with long sultry lines of how you’d like to be marinated in… you get my point! In Lou Paget’s “How to be a great lover” she gives one word examples of what to say in the moment ‘louder,’ ‘softer,’ ‘harder,’ ‘faster.’ You can use one or two words to point your partner in the right direction!  If you’re in pain you don’t have to be overly honest and tell them you’ve never felt pain like that before and you’d rather jump off a cliff than get back in bed! You can gently guide them right into your tempo and pace. Plus, whispering in your mate’s ear is sexy and will be an added turn on!

The truth of the matter is that most peoplejust go along with what’s being served but with a few honest one – two word tweaks you can really kick up the fun-o-meter in the bedroom. Plus, whether you’re a man or woman, you’ll feel more empowered in your sexuality. Finding your voice in the bedroom is 100% rewarding and makes your special time that much better because you’ll be more open and that will in turn make your partner feel more comfortable to be open too making your good times, SPECTACULAR times with bunches and bunches of fireworks in the end! ;)


Dirty and Thirty
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