Tales of a Newly Single Gal – When You Get Married, You Think You Have It All Planned Out!


Tales of a newly single gal- When you get married, You think you have it all planned out!

Tales of a Newlywed Single Gal

When you get married, you think you have it all planned out. You have a vision for how the rest of your lives will play out down to the most miniscule details. Well, I did. How quickly things can change. Yes, I am thirty and getting a d-i-v-o-r-c-e. (I like to spell it out. I still haven’t been able to actually say the word. I’ll get there eventually.)

They call it a “mini-marriage” and apparently they’re all the rage in this country. By definition, a mini-marriage is a marriage that lasts only a few years and ends before the couple has children. Who knew I was so trendy? All joking aside, I know a handful of fabulous, thirty-something’s who are going through the same thing. If you had asked me to write about this even three months ago my response would have been, “No thanks, but leave a bottle of wine at the door on your way out.” Now I’m ready, willing and able to talk as I navigate through my new life.

I started dating my ex when I was 23 years old. In the 7 years we were together (2 of them married), we lived through a lifetime of experiences. We traveled, have great families, loved our jobs, and got the perfect dog to complement our seemingly perfect life. Chloe is still perfect in every way. At least one thing was. In addition to the positives, there were also many struggles. You know that “in sickness and in health” part? Yeah, lived through that. And all I can say is, one random yet life- changing day I woke up and realized I was not happy.

I have no plans to discuss my past but rather share the experiences of this new journey towards discovering my real self. What I will say is that I’m a gal who didn’t know what she wanted in life until she realized what she did not want. This ride is going to be fun. Overall, we had a great life together and though the marriage was short-lived, it was fulfilling and I don’t regret it for a second.

People often ask me, “Are you cynical and pessimistic about marriage now?” First of all, don’t ask a newly divorced girl that question. It’s condescending and rude. Most importantly, my answer is no. I believe in love and marriage more than ever before. I’m lucky enough to say that I am surrounded by beautiful relationships and marriages every single day. I’m not cynical…I’m a Charlotte. I believe in love. And shoes. And wine. And myself.

Julie Sanders
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  1. Misha says:

    How relevant. I’ve read every article D&T has published- this is the first one I’ve felt drawn to the comment board. In a day where ‘honor to staying married’ meets ‘jonesing for a life fulfilled’ it’s pride inducing to me to read a woman my age committing to her decision- publicly, at that.

    …and btw, I got married five weeks ago.

  2. Courtney says:

    Such a great and inspiring story!! your truly a Charlotte and have tons of life to live!!

  3. Jennifer says:

    I fit into this “mini marriage” category too- I didn’t know there was such a category. Thanks for writing and looking forward to your upcoming articles!

  4. Carrie says:

    LOVE. Thank you so much. I too, was in a relationship for 7 years, and realized that it wasn’t working for me any more. It is a difficult journey, but I’ve now been single for a year and a half… and have learned more about myself and have grown more than I ever thought possible. Thank you for your bravery to post this, as I know many people can relate in so many ways. I’m a Carrie, and I believe in love and shoes and wine and myself. xoxo

  5. PC Tablet says:

    Nice post. I’m inspired! . Thank you and good luck.

  6. I understand, I have two friends who were recently married, its his second committed relationship/first marriage, and her third marriage. They are both in the position where they have all the resources they could ever want in life, it just took that much work to find somebody compatible. They are both beyond brave to do what they have done. They are making it work after a lot of effort, If this kind of thing is a journey, they have both gone to the moon and back twice. So hope this helps to inspire you and thank you for your courage and bravery in posting this post. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

  7. Amy says:

    So beautiful, positive and forward-thinking — thank you so much for sharing!

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