9 Things No One Tells You About Getting Engaged. You’ve envisioned it your entire life: the love of your life gets down on one knee and asks you to marry them. You might gasp, you’ll probably cry and, at the end of it, you say yes — and thus begins the engagement journey.
You have so many ideas of what that moment will be like, but nothing to anchor it to in reality because, well, you’ve never been engaged before. Spoiler alert: it probably won’t be the exact sequence of events you imagine.
To prepare you for the moment — and the moments that follow — here are nine things that no one will tell you about getting engaged. We promise you want to know beforehand:
Not everyone can be in a ball gown, rocking a blowout and full make-up — we’re looking at you, Bachelor contestants. The truth is, you won’t know when your engagement will be happening, so you might not look the way you envision yourself to look at that very moment.
And, while pictures taken afterward might depict a pink-and-teary-eyed, messy-bun-wearing you, embrace it. Your story isn’t like the fairytales you see on TV — it’s real, and it’s yours.
Even if you haven’t gotten dolled up for your engagement moment, you’ll walk away with a beautiful piece of bling you get to wear forever. And, we promise, you’ll have a tough time looking away from the rock your fiancée has purchased just for you.
Not every fiancée-to-be is as chill about what kind of ring she gets, so if you want something specific, speak to your beau about it when the time is right. You’re the one who will wear the ring, after all, so you should be able to have a say in what unique style of bling you’ll be wearing down the aisle and into your happily ever after.
Nearly every rom-com has a wedding scene, whether it involves the protagonist walking down the aisle or breaking up a ceremony with an it-should-be-me speech. And, while you’ve seen these types of movies and shows countless times before, you’ll be watching them all with a critical eye now that you’re planning your own I dos. You never know — you might get an idea for your day after sitting through that eight-hour Say Yes to the Dress marathon…
Congratulations! You’re engaged! Now, when’s the wedding?
It seems crazy, but it’s true: as soon as you have the ring, everyone in your life will want to know when you’re going to make that promise official. Rather than let that stress you out, tell family and friends that you just got engaged and you’re enjoying that status for a bit before you begin planning your nuptials.
To that end, everyone in your life who has already been married will give their (unsolicited) opinions on your big day. They’ll tell you where to have your ceremony, what style of dress to wear, which wedding cake flavor will delight the most guests, etc. Again, you’ve barely had time to process the fact that you are, indeed, getting married, so smile and listen but don’t worry about taking it too seriously.
In today’s social media-centric world, half of the fun of getting engaged is figuring out how to announce it to the world-at-large. Start by making sure you personally inform those closest to you: you don’t want your best friends or your immediate family to find out via Facebook.
Then, come up with a creative way to share it with everyone else. You could do karaoke with your friends, sing a song and tell everyone you’re going to the chapel and you’re going to get married. Or, you could post a cryptic series of Facebook photos in which you slowly reveal what’s on your ring finger. In the end, it’s up to you and your spouse-to-be to decide: choose something that’s reflective of your relationship, and you can’t go wrong.
Your BFFs will be freaking out, to say the least. Emoji-laden Facebook updates and Instagram posts will show just how excited they are for you and the happy journey ahead of you. And then, there will be your friends who appear less-than-thrilled with your news.
The truth is that the people who love you will be happy for you because you’re so happy. No matter the reason why someone is unhappy about or jealous of your news, it might help you realize who your real friends are — and who should cut from the guest list on your big day.
Even if you helped choose the ring, your fiancée just went through a lot. They bought a very pricey piece of jewelry and then planned the perfect way to give it to you. Therefore, you should understand if he or she wants to pause before diving right into wedding planning.
If you can’t ignore the itch to get started, begin with the basics: start building your guest list, for example, as it will help you choose a venue that’s large enough for the party you plan to invite.
It’s just a ring, but it symbolizes so much more: love, trust and a promise to spend a lifetime together. Even if you’ve been together for decades, then, puttin’ a ring on it will make your relationship feel different. That doesn’t necessarily mean it will be rough or stressful; it will just add a new chapter to the story you’ve been writing together.
And, in the off chance that you haven’t discussed your future plans together, now’s the time to make sure you’re still on the same page about everything, from where you’ll live post-wedding to how many kids you want to have. You never know what the future holds, but it’s nice to know that your partner shares a vision of how you want it to look.
Your engagement is the start of an entirely new phase of your life — and it all starts with a ring. Be sure to enjoy every up and down throughout this time, because you’ll only get to celebrate it.