Finding the Good in the World

Dirt of the Day

When tragedy strikes our community, city, state, and/or nation, we tend to get caught up in the notion that evil is all around us. Well, I hate to say it, but we’re all probably right…it IS everywhere! Every street corner, every community, city, and state. So, with all that surrounding us, how can we make this so-called life worthwhile? In light of the tragedies that continue to surround us (mass shootings, terrorism, prejudices, transgender bathrooms, and the presidential election, to name a few) here are some ways I’ve conjured to live your life to the fullest (and to make the most of it!):

  1. Eat whatever you want! (In moderation, naturally)

This is numero uno, and rightfully so. Eat, eat, and eat some more! That ice cream cone you’ve been dreaming about…go get it! You love nachos?! Me TOO! Let’s go share some together and wash them down with a tasty margarita! Are you getting the sense that I’m yelling these things to you because of all of the exclamation points?! That’s because I AM! In the article “The Non Diet-Diet:The Case for Eating Whatever You Want” author Melissa Dahl says, “As evidence builds that conventional weight-loss methods simply don’t work in the long term, some nutritionists and psychologists are encouraging a kind of non-diet diet, in which you eat what you want when you want it.” Can’t argue with Melissa…she’s an expert! Now, don’t disregard the parenthesis from up above, they’re there for a reason! Anything and everything should be done in moderation.

  1. Go wherever you want…no really, go.

You can still find me in “Da Club”, 50 Cent style! Why, you ask?! Are you not fearful for the safety of your life?! Of course! I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t have fear gnawing at my mind, body, and soul day in and day out. But, as a woman with faith in the “Greater Plan” of life, why live a life of fear when the world has so much more out there to live for. There is so much good in the world, so don’t let fear of the not so good hold you back, and have FUN! Go to the club, spin around the dance floor, and let go of all that holds you back from living the life you’ve imagined. Go to Target, WalMart,  New York, Orlando…because why not?! You could be hurt, you say. Let’s look at the stats real quick, to ease our minds.

In an article on, “Guns in the U.S.: The Stats Behind The Violence,” in 2015 there were 372 mass shootings, 475 people killed and 1,870 people injured. Reading that might make you quiver with fear (it made me!) but let us take a look at something else. On, ninety people die in car accidents everyday. Every single day. So multiply that by 365, and you get a whopping 32, 850 deaths a year, along with 3 million people injured in that same year. Have you started walking places, yet? Yeah, me either.

And to not leave out the uncomfortable Target/transgender bathroom situation, let’s insert a personal anecdote. Once while working one of the many retail jobs of my life, I needed to use the facilities. I walked into the empty restroom, picked my favorite stall, shut the door (because that’s what you’re supposed to do!), and proceeded to take care of business. The restroom door opens, and I hear a crowd. Four, five, maybe six people. They all scurry to the other stalls, slamming the doors and locking them. I hear a faint motherly voice in the distance, and decide I need to hurry up so this family can use the facilities and get on their way. All of a sudden, I see a head pop in from underneath the stall door. A head! A young boy, six or seven years old, watching me wipe my ass! After the initial shock, a gasp escaped my mouth, my eyes were bulging out of my head, and he still did not move! So, I took my foot to his forehead and pushed him out of my stall rather forcefully, finished up quickly, washed my hands and left the restroom, feeling violated and angry! But there was nothing I could do. And now, ten years later everybody’s throwing a fit because there could be men in the women’s restroom and women in the men’s restroom. Listen, as long as they’re not popping their heads underneath your stall door watching you wipe your ass(like some children do), your life should continue without peril.

  1. Hug…A child, an adult, a tree.

Ok, so for those of you that aren’t much of the “hugging” type, you can just send an air hug across the room (similar to air quotes, but a hug). Basically, show love and give grace. You never know what is going on “behind the curtain” in everybody’s life. So when you’re in that restaurant and that waiter isn’t quite as nice as you’d like him to be, show grace and tip anyway. When that bat out of hell cuts you off on the freeway, breathe and show grace. And when that one student that’s NEVER absent continues to push your buttons, your husband will not do a single thing you need him to do, and your kids are running around having a baby rave with all of  YOUR stuff in YOUR house, step back, breathe, soak it all up, show love and give grace. Life’s too short to get caught up in the moments that make us angry.

  1. Have great conversations.

In a world dominated by texting, e-mails, snapchats, tweets, and 160 character messages, our conversations get lost in the clouds of technology. According to the article “Conversation Leads to Positive Connections” on, “Talking with others builds your health, happiness and longevity.” So, go out of your way to have a face to face conversation and be interested in others! Listen to what they have to say, laugh with them, cry with them, drink a bottle (or two) of wine with them, and grow as a person.

“Your purpose, when you converse, is not to win; it is to help the other person feel that you respect them, care for them, enjoy them and support them. The goal is to connect.”

  1. Have AMAZING sex!

Last does not make this point least important, because it is VeRy important! There are SO many benefits to having AMAZING sex. Does AMAZING always have to be in all caps, you ask? Ohhhh, yes it does. So let’s shimmy down the facts:

Benefit #1: AMAZING sex “Helps Keep Your Immune System Humming,” and “Sexually active people take fewer sick days,” says Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD a sexual health expert. Not only will you be enjoying your life more, but you will also be building job security…not a thing wrong with that!

Benefit #2:AMAZING sex improves women’s bladder control. No more little leaks here and there ladies! You want to laugh whole heartedly? Do you want to sneeze without worry? Go out there and have AMAZING sex and stop wetting your pants!

Benefit #3: AMAZING sex counts as exercise…say what?! Don’t get me wrong, a Zumba class full of sexy moves and sweat in all kinds of places (places I never knew could sweat) is all fine and dandy, and I’ll admit fun. But if done the right way, AMAZING sex could give you the same outcome, so put on some music and exercise those calories away one beat at a time…in bed!

Benefit #4: AMAZING sex eases stress, and Lord knows we got a lot of that! Between work, school, dinner, bills, family obligations, grocery shopping, birthdays, sick days, picture days, and holidays, it’s no wonder everybody is so stressed!Psychiatrist Sheenie Ambardar, MD says ”touching and hugging can release your body’s natural “feel-good hormone.” Sexual arousal releases a brain chemical that revs up your brain’s pleasure and reward system.Sex and intimacy can boost your self-esteem and happiness, too. It’s not only a prescription for a healthy life, but a happy one.”

So next time you’re feeling down and in the dumps,do yourself a favor and just work it, twerk it, flip it and reverse it!

I didn’t say it before, but just like there’s evil in the world, there’s also good. Good in you, good in me, good in those nachos, and good in that bottle of wine. There’s good in that conversation with the crazy Mary Kay consultant whom I’ve never met, but she just complimented the hell outta my mediocre makeup from 7AM…thank you, ma’am! And yes, there is a multitude of good found in rolling around between the sheets (preferably with a partner, but naps work too!) So, make a commitment to yourself, and enjoy the good in the world! 🙂


Dirty and Thirty

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