This past year one of my best friends from high school announced her engagement. I hadn’t seen her in a few years, we talked occasionally through text or Facebook throughout college, but with both of us living in separate cities, we drifted apart as most people do after high school. After the engagement announcement, I would see the progress of her upcoming wedding before my eyes on Facebook. As the months passed, I waited patiently for an invite. I saw her post pictures of her bachelorette party, her engagement photos and then, finally, an announcement that it was the night before her wedding. At that point, it was more than safe to say, I wasn’t invited.
Instead of being relieved, like some women are that they don’t have to attend a wedding and feel like that single loser, I was really bothered. Not getting invited to the wedding of someone you once called your closest friend hurts more than just a little. I know that we had drifted apart, but she was a significant part of my life for many years and I felt like that lack of invitation was like a personal loss. Like the friendship meant more to me than it ever did to her.
I tried to look at it from a different perspective and think, well, maybe because we weren’t as close as we used to be, I didn’t make the cut because the wedding was going to be small and on a budget. Then I saw the photos later posted on Facebook… I’ve always known my friend came from money. She had a pretty prestigious job herself and her now husband makes quite a bit too. There’s no doubt in my mind that there was no budget for this wedding. It was certainly a grande occasion. So sadly, there was no other explanation than we were not friends. Simple as that. A few days after the wedding pics were posted I sent her a congratulatory message. Not to my surprise, I received no response.
Well, I thought to myself, what can I do? We have both gone our separate ways in life and obviously, she isn’t quite as nostalgic as I am. I still wish her all the happiness in the world, but this got me thinking about how often this happens. I know weddings are expensive and people have to budget and leave some people out simply due to cost. Does it destroy “friendships”? I felt like this lack of invitation defined my “friendship” as nothing more than a memory of the past for her and a reality check for me. How often does this happen? So what determines that fine line between invited and not making the cut?