In today’s dating culture, a mindful and eager single-seeking-partner is presented every day with a bounty of platforms that each promise to find him/her that “special someone” – from dating websites, dating apps, personal matchmaking services and even singles’ networking events. While it can be beneficial to leverage the different selections each outlet uniquely offers, is there such a thing as too many options to choose from? Tinder might be great for casual interaction or playful amusement, and OkCupid.com might be better able to match a personality-linked connection.
your core values, your goals and interests, sometimes even your inner child and upbringing. As we cruise through every new day in our busy lives, the circumstances we find ourselves in, the people we meet, the lessons we learn and the life experience we gain can directly affect the type of person we are looking to attract and connect with in a meaningful way.
TIP: With life already going a million miles an hour, sometimes it is better to decrease your distractions and first figure out what exactly it is you are looking for. There are few things as expensive as time wasted, and few things as taxing as the runaround of confusion and disappointment in serial dating without purpose. In order to clarify your expectations and desires for that ideal other, you need to sit down and write an unapologetic, honest list of the three essential “must-have” traits your perfect partner would possess, along with a list of the three non-negotiable qualities. This will provide you at least a rough outline to follow when out navigating the complex terrain of the modern dating world. As there is significant power in simply setting an intention, you may notice that having identified these six components will naturally begin to attract people to you who align with them.
Now, keep in mind that you do need to create opportunities for yourself and your date to surprise you, as they likely will not have every trait you desire from your list, but may possess qualities you didn’t think to ask for. If, while making your list, you notice a difficulty identifying what those key components look like, maybe try dating different types of people first, to explore what qualities you do and don’t like.
If you ever feel overwhelmed or frustrated with dating, then allow yourself to step back, regroup, reassess and reconnect with yourself before diving back in. Many times, a great connection with someone can be a missed opportunity because you were not first in alignment with yourself. It serves you better, in the long run, to take that break from dating rather than settling into something less than what you yearn for just to avoid being lonely.
Guest Post by Sandy Dapoz
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