Are You Addicted to “Like”?

#TheStruggleIsReal

The real question is this: Where can you be honest with yourself? Where can you be the most honest you that you have ever been? Are You Addicted to “Like”?

Yesterday I rode my bike, along with my dear friend Laura, to Redondo Beach.

From Santa Monica.

Thank God The Redondo Beach Pier had those awesome fish tacos and pints of beer or I wouldn’t have made it back. ( Not joking.) 34 miles is a long haul, folks. A long haul.

I had a lot of time to think. To just be.

Here is my honesty for the day, my second Confession in the Confession Series. (click to read Confession about sucking my thumb.)

I realized I am addicted to likes. To clicks. 

I am addicted to Like.

Like the song Addicted To Love. Just change it to Like.

I post a blog. And then I check every few minutes to see how it’s doing. Did they like it? Do they like me? ( Who, in the name of God, are “they”?)

Am I good enough?

I am being honest here, so I am breaking down what it really means.

I have become a slave to my phone and computer, so dialed in and over-connected all the time.  Yesterday as I rode all those miles and looked out at the ocean I thought about how great it felt to be off the grid. To not care one way or the other what was going on in the world beyond that moment, there on my bike.

I am being raw and looking deep within the caves of Jennifer that are not to be found on Facebook or Twitter.

It’s not a conscious thing I am talking about. It’s something I realized there on my beach cruiser with the orange basket in front and fishing rod in back; this need for connection and approval to make me feel good about myself.

We all want to be liked. That’s natural. 

The reality? Not everyone will like us.

That’s ok. It’s usually not about us anyway, and, even if it is, it doesn’t matter. It’s their opinion to have, whoever they are.

I was with my private client last week and Bruce Springsteen was in the background singing one of my favorites, “My Hometown.” I looked over at him and asked: Are you a Bruce fan?

Him: Nah.

Me: Really?

So I realized that if you plug in your favorite artist or singer or anyone that you think is the best there is, you will always find someone that says: They suck.

How can you not be a Bruce fan? I thought and was truly baffled.

So back to the honesty question. Where can you be really honest with yourself?

A confession, if you will.

Mine is: I am an addict.

My last post on one of the many sites I write for got a hundred plus comments but only a thousand “likes.”

Do you know that I actually spent time thinking about this?

Comparing myself to other people? Wondering why more people hadn’t clicked “like” on something that was so personal, so important to me? Something that I had spent so much time on and which I thought was really good? What if the website didn’t publish me anymore? What if it means something, this only a “thousand likes” business?

And you know what? The what if’s, when you spell them out and look them square in the jaw, end up being small little things that get filed under“Irrelevant” in your Life File, along with getting into a “perfect” yoga pose or being the “perfect” weight.

I caught myself in my own trap.

I have become tethered to something that is, in no way, shape, or form: real.

I have allowed it.

I have become a junkie to people validating me.

It’s easy to happen.

Everything has a like button so how can we start to not feel as if it a personal sign we are wearing?

Like me? Please, please click “like”? Vote for me? “Like” me and I will believe I am good enough and if you don’t like me then I will feel worthless.

It sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?

So, now what?

I am honest with it, now what? I am looking at it. I am “being with it” as theysay. Now what?

So, here’s what: I shut the computer. I go sit with my husband and have a nice meal and a glass of wine. I let go of any notion that my self worth is connected to how many Facebook fans I have, how many likes I have on a post, how many tweets or pinterests or shmiterests. I let myself sit and be like I am on a bike with not a care in the world except how far away the dang Pier is, with it’s fish tacos and beer.

Where can you be honest with yourself? Take Today’s Daily Manifestation Challenge or DMC. Come on and take it! Answer below. I know it is scary, but it feels so so good.

Jennifer Pastiloff
I am a lover of life, laughter, poetry, yoga and a really good glass of wine. I created Manifestation Yoga, which is all about causing serious breakthroughs in your life without being too serious. My rule of “If you fall you must laugh and take down your neighbor” is Strictly enforced! I teach all over Los Angeles and also in Philadelphia & NJ at Dhyana Yoga. I travel the world teaching workshops and leading retreats. My nephew Blaise was recently diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder called Prader Wille Syndrome (PWS) which prompted me to start GAME Yoga. Gifts And Miracles Everyday: Free Yoga for Kids w/ Special Needs. It’s also a really good excuse for me to be around kids whom I generally loved more than the average adult. I am also a poet, and in the process of writing a book. I firmly believe that you can manifest whatever it is you want in your life. I am partially deaf and wear hearing aids. I spent 13 years working in the same restaurant and I believe that everyone should have a job in the service industry at least once in their life. It’s good for the soul.
www.jenniferpastiloff.com
www.manifestationyoga.com
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3 Comments

  1. Amy says:

    Aw man, I want to “like” this blog so badly! 😉

  2. I have to think about this one for a little bit. I don’t want to give you guys a knee-jerk reaction.

  3. Continued from above…

    I realize I am most honest with myself when I am in the shower after working out when the endorphins are circulating inside my brain. Its those few minutes of zen when I can think clearly without distraction. For the record I am not addicted to the like button. Since what I do keeps tied to the computer, the computer is the only window I have on the outside world, (metaphorically speaking). Its the price I pay for working in the movie business. Over Memorial day weekend I went up to Bass Lake up around Fresno and just sat on the beach and looked out onto the lake. It was real nice to unplug and see trees and blue water. I make the effort when I can to get out and see the real world when I have time and I am grateful for it.

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