Adventures in Adulthood


While reading Adventures in babysitting (Luchana confesses she has ‘daddy issues’ which is why she dates older men), it struck me that I have the opposite problem – I almost always date men who are at least a couple years younger than me.  I also happen to have severe “mommy issues”, along with a shit ton of abandonment issues.  Could there be a connection?  I would like to imagine that yes, I’ve made an amazing breakthrough in the world of psychology.

I’m sure that I haven’t.  I do believe that my issues have something to do with dating younger men, or at least men with a certain level of emotional maturity.  Look, I cannot help that they like me.  I like them.  They are fun, they are chill, and they don’t want to put a ring on it any time soon – right up my alley.  Maybe they can smell the fact that I’m not looking for some long-term commitment, marriage or a baby.  I like that they dote on me, and I like feeling attractive to younger guys… I’ve been a “puma” for years now.  Yeah, I’m a Peter Pan.  I’m aware.  I am okay with it, and apparently, so are men in their early to mid-twenties.  The problem is, a lot of them can’t even buy me a Big Mac, or a fro-yo.  I am self-sufficient but I am sure eventually this will get to me.

So if I have issues with my mom, why do I have such a savior complex?  Why do I want to mother and take care of my boys?  I suppose I like being in control of the situation.  Anyway, I dated a guy who was 6 years older than me for quite a while, and he was more emotionally stunted than anyone I’ve ever met, so age doesn’t mean everything.  I have always been attracted to baby faces, and I hate too much body hair.  Maybe something is wrong with me.  When I meet a real man who does not need any saving and who looks and acts like a grown up, I have no idea what to do with him.  A functional relationship?  Oh, the horror!

I am not sure how this will all end.  People keep telling me, “stop dating boys and start dating men.”  I am honestly not sure if I am attracted to typical “men”.   Who can help what they like?  Apparently not me though I try to feel otherwise.  I do not want anything serious and most guys my age or a little older are getting to the point now where they are looking to settle down.  I suppose that is part of my problem.  Did I happen to mention my severe commitment phobia yet?  Ah, issues.  The answer may be as simple as starting a serious relationship with a therapist…ha!

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Amy Horton
I am a writer, free spirit, and fairly functional human living in Los Angeles. I tell it like I see it and I don't hold back. I hope to connect with my readers through our common experiences and touch some hearts and souls!


  1. Kara says:

    I also tend to “end up with” younger guys. Perhaps b/c the older ones are already wifed up, baby daddy’s, or going after some other fabulous girl with less issues. I cannot be sure. I also tend to want to “save” the guy and find myself with someone who cannot afford dinner, let alone anything more shiny than a Ring Pop. I also have wondered, if I stumbled upon a stable, mature guy who had it “all together,” what would I do with him? I wouldn’t know how to handle a normal guy – complete with steady job/career, his own car, self-sufficient, living on his own, etc., etc.

    All I know is, I’m determined to do things the opposite of how I always have. Or at least, dramatically different. They say if you continue to do the same things, you repeatedly receive the same outcome. Of course, there is still some backsliding. However, I’m confident that SOMEDAY, after all the speculation, over-analyzing, revelations, & epiphanies, it will all come together. It has to, right?

    • Yeah, it will all come together, being optimistic is half the battle. There is no magic formula. (tongue and cheek humor here) As much as we all want too we can’t just conduct the legal discovery process on a potential mate (Its basically an inquisition, where you audit somebody from head to toe.) with out looking like a psychopath. You’re in a subjective medium, so you just got to take it one step at time. You have to develop your own personal metrics and yardstick for evaluating a person as to what works for you and what does not. Everybody is going to have a opinion because everybody’s system is custom tailed for them. You gotta figure out what you got to have in a person and where you are willing to compromise. That’s something only you as an individual can figure out, I am not saying the process is easy or require won’t require some soul-searching. Its all about baby-steps and going at pace that is comfortable to you and whatever your circumstance is. Hang in there, there is somebody out there for all of us.

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