What’s your number? To tell or not?
by Jenna Time

I often get asked how much one should actually divulge about their past sexual partners when getting into a new relationship.

First off, I want to say that keeping the lines of communication open and honest are tremendously important.

Second off, I’d like to follow up with – not every detail about your partner’s past is essential.

I know a lot of couples think they have to – have to know everything about their partner but I can’t tell you how many relationships I’ve seen dissolve over the PAST. I think you have a right to know, but I like to follow a simple piece of advice “don’t ask questions you’re not prepared to hear answers to.”

What does knowing really give you? A settled curiosity? Maybe temporarily. Think about the cost. You’ll be trading the curiosity for a visualization of X amount of people that your partners been with – raising more questions than you’ll ever get the answers to.

The most important history is the history you and your partner are creating. Delving into the past will only raise insecurities, tempt comparisons and overall just isn’t taking your relationship into the future, but rather many, many steps backwards.

Catch me on Twitter @jennatimetweets!


Jenna Time

Miss Jenna Couture is a Sexuality Educator & Intimacy Coach. She has extensive experience in working with a full spectrum of sexuality issues from sexual desire, sexual dysfunction, and relational issues for couples and individuals.

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3 Responses to What’s your number? To tell or not?

  1. Ande Lyons says:

    Great question Jenna!

    You’re right… open communication is key… but it’s not necessary to get into details. Brian Tracy’s quote fits the situation perfectly: “It doesn’t matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going.”

    My lips are sealed!



  2. Live in the moment. The past is the past. Honestly I will never ask my partner how many women he has been with. Not interested.

  3. From a guy’s prospective, odds are I am more sensitive than I need to be. If she has something that is gnawing at her gut and she wants to tell me I am happy to listen. I am not the jealous type. Sometimes you just have to face your past so you can get to the future. We’re all human under here, you just have to be real gentle and do what needs to be done to help them get past it. (Tongue and cheek humor here) Being a teddy bear is not the easiest job but its better than being a D-bag.

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