I often get asked how much one should actually divulge about their past sexual partners when getting into a new relationship.
First off, I want to say that keeping the lines of communication open and honest are tremendously important.
Second off, I’d like to follow up with – not every detail about your partner’s past is essential.
I know a lot of couples think they have to – have to know everything about their partner but I can’t tell you how many relationships I’ve seen dissolve over the PAST. I think you have a right to know, but I like to follow a simple piece of advice “don’t ask questions you’re not prepared to hear answers to.”
What does knowing really give you? A settled curiosity? Maybe temporarily. Think about the cost. You’ll be trading the curiosity for a visualization of X amount of people that your partners been with – raising more questions than you’ll ever get the answers to.
The most important history is the history you and your partner are creating. Delving into the past will only raise insecurities, tempt comparisons and overall just isn’t taking your relationship into the future, but rather many, many steps backwards.
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