Steve Harvey says keep your cookie in the cookie jar


I recently watched “Think Like a Man,” based on Steve Harvey’s book with the same title. I read the book years ago and was reminded, while watching the movie, of one of the chapters that talks about “keeping the cookie in the jar.” Steve advises females to abstain from “giving up the cookie” (or as adults call it, “vagina”) for 90 days because a guy should earn it and that is how you show him what you’re worth.  Soooooo… I guess I’m literally worth LESS.

I know we’re not supposed to give it up fast, etc., etc. I also know, according to the Mayans, we’re all supposed to be dead. What I DON’T know, is where everybody stands on this. I mean, it’s 2012 and we live in completely overexposed, overstimulated, oversexed times- not a f*#@ing Nicholas Sparks novel. As women, we hear our ENTIRE LIVES that we’re not supposed to give it up too fast or the guy will lose interest, never call again, not take us seriously, or all of the above. So when ARE we supposed to give it up? What do guys expect and what do they think of us if we do it too soon or wait too long? Do gay men have this problem?

I know plenty of successful relationships that started after doing it right away. Personally, having sex with people has gotten me a lot farther with guys than NOT having sex. (Obviously not far enough to be successful and/or rich by now. If anyone knows someone who can remedy that, I’m available.) A few times in my life, I have been faced with the decision, “Should I sleep with him or not? I may never see him again regardless.” Most times, I went with my gut, or should I say… my vagina? And EVERY time, it led to a long-distance relationship. Not exactly ideal, but it was something.

A year ago, I met someone who I liked more than anyone I’d ever met before. We had a limited amount of time together since we were both leaving town for a while, and I found myself at the same crossroads. Every thing inside of me said, “don’t sleep with him, don’t sleep with him, don’tsleepwithhim, DON’T. SLEEP. WITH. HIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMM!” We spent the longest and best 13 hours of my LIFE in a bed together doing absolutely nothing. That didn’t end up working out in the long run, and not a day goes by that I don’t wish I would’ve shown him a thing or two about a thing or two. Would that have changed our future together? I may never know, but it’s worked in the past.

P.S If you are a guy and you sleep with a girl who is not a psychopath, and never call her again for no good reason, you’re actually not cool. You’re a cliché and stupid, and she’s better off. Get an original idea.


Luchana Gatica
I am a 30 year-old comedian/actress/writer and most importantly, dirtyandthirty blogger! I am known for having way too much experience on the single life and making fun of myself.
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  1. Awesome! Although I do believe abstaining from having sex is a good thing, I have to agree that no matter what I seem to do it never works out anyway. I say play the game your way AND if he’s a good one he’ll stick around regardless. Great article!

  2. Mark Anthony says:

    this reminds me of a slogan…I think it was Nike…”JUST DO IT”. Safely, of course…

  3. I waited until my late 20’s to turn in my V-card, (Why, only god knows) the opportunity came to pass to do so and I figured lets just get this over with, so at least I could go into my 30’s some experience. So there is no right answer as when in a relationship to have sex.

  4. Kara says:

    My best attempt in the past to “wait” has been about 2 weeks. Currently, I’m at 7 weeks, give or take. And I’ve got to say, I’m kind of proud of myself. The urge is difficult to resist. But I am testing the advice given by so many – “don’t give it up too early.” And “the good guys will wait.” I don’t know when will be the “right” time. I just want to feel good about my decision to stop waiting, whenever that may be.

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