Is Phone Sex Cheating?

Sex

It’s late at night and your wife has gone to sleep. You’re wide awake watching some sitcom re-run, eating a pop tart, and feeling just a little horny. A sexy phone sex ad pops up on the TV. You ask yourself, is it cheating to call in? That would depend on the definition of cheating, which is very hazy as it stands. Cheating, in general, means to act unfairly to gain an advantage. Infidelity, however, is defined as engaging in sexual relations with someone other than your unknowing partner. Both definitions require a whole lot of subjective reasoning in order to get to the truth. What does it mean to gain an advantage? What does it mean to engage in sexual relations? If your partner thinks that paid phone sex is cheating, it’s very unlikely that he or she will let you off on a technicality. To help us answer these questions, DirtyandThirty spoke with Morgan Jean the Phone Sex Queen.

Talking About Sex Outside of the Relationship

In the age of the internet, there is a whole lot of unwarranted sexual stimulation thrown in nearly all directions. It can be in the form of a sexual meme, sexual advertisement, or porn itself.

“The perpetual stimulation can then trickle into your daily life. For example, you may see something that reminds you of sex and share it with your gym buddy. Technically, that’s a sexual conversation,” Jean explains. 

Is it cheating? Well, it might not make your partner happy to know that you were having a conversation that was sexual in nature to anyone other than him or her, but the average person would not constitute that as cheating as the intent was not to suggest sexual contact between yourself and your gym buddy.

Porn

If intent plays a role in the idea of cheating, would that mean that watching porn and masturbating could be considered cheating? Monogamous partners seem to be split on that issue. Unless utterly delusional, it’s pretty clear that someone who watches online porn does not expect to subsequently meet or contact the person that they are masturbating to. For those considering it not to be cheating, it’s seen as an act of sexual release and a healthy response to a sexual urge (when the partner is not around or not in the mood). For those that consider this to be cheating, what they are saying is that the act of imaginational sex with someone other than your partner is mental infidelity.

Phone Sex

Imaginational Sex / Phone Sex

“Imaginational sex for the purpose of self-pleasure is very tricky. Porn is something that provides a concrete visual to enhance the imagination. However, if someone were to masturbate on imagination alone, without the aid of porn, how could the partner know or control what that person was thinking. And, furthermore, is it even reasonable to desire that control?” Jean says.

Those that feel that watching porn is cheating will almost definitely feel that phone sex is cheating as well because it takes that imagination a step further by introducing direct contact. But, how different is it really if you aren’t making any future plans with the phone sex operator?

This is an issue that will always have a large divide. But, studies show that it is healthy to let your partner masturbate in order to release sexual tension. It is undetermined whether or not phone sex is emotionally unhealthy for a monogamous relationship.

“Phone sex is something that could potentially lead to cheating,” Jean continues, “However, the opposite is also true! It can provide enough external stimulation to possibly prevent cheating.”

Regardless of your opinion, it’s probably a good idea to discuss it with your partner (if you are in a monogamous relationship).

Cassie Brewer
Cassie is a women's health and beauty writer who enjoys writing for all ages. She aspires to open her own beauty boutique in Italy one day, and hopes you enjoy this article!

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