Just like with every other aspect of our lives, having a healthy amount of self-esteem in the bedroom can be incredibly beneficial, not just for improving our sex life, but also for strengthening and nourishing the bond we share with our partners. However, we’re all subject to a lack of confidence every once in a while, whether it’s due to insecurity, past experiences or simply a period of time when we don’t feel our best. In those moments, it’s essential to boost your self-esteem and better your relationship with your partner by following these simple yet important tips:
Take some time to think about old memories, past sexual experiences, as well as your own emotions related to sexuality, and learn how to understand and process those important aspects of your past. For example, you might want to write down your feelings and experiences with intimacy, from talks you’ve had with your friends to sexual activity you’ve enjoyed, in order to gain a clearer and more objective perspective into your lack of confidence in intimate and sexual situations.
As this might become uncomfortable for some people, or simply not yield any tangible results, another great option would be to get in touch with a professional, such as a therapist or a psychologist, as they can help you realize where your lack of confidence stems from, setting you on the right path towards a healthier sex life.
Before you can confidently engage in sexual activity with another person, it’s essential to know exactly what you like, what you don’t like, and what makes you feel comfortable. So, when you’re alone, take some time to explore your body, and consider how you feel about each and every part of it. Are there any parts you love and would proudly show off? Are there bits you dislike or are ashamed of, and would like to hide?
Even though scanning your body like this might uncover uncomfortable feelings of doubt and insecurity, it can also help you realize what your needs and wants are. You’ll be able to figure out which body parts you’d like to be touched and played with, and which aspects are better left covered or avoided for now, in order to confidently communicate those feelings to your partner.
Apart from getting to know your body on a superficial level, it’s important to explore it in a more intimate manner as well, learning exactly what turns you on, what gets you off, and what brings you the most pleasure. Only when you have such a deep and intimate connection with yourself can you build healthier self-esteem and a stronger sexual relationship with a partner.
While masturbation and self-pleasure might still be a bit taboo in our society today, there are many cultures around the world, such as Singaporeans, who openly and confidently explore their bodies, as they’re well aware of the important role sex plays in a healthy relationship. They proudly visit a great sex shop in Singapore when they lose touch with their bodies in order to find the best sex toys and get to know themselves, and it might be a brilliant idea for you to try the same.
When you learn and understand the wants and needs of your body, as well as your feelings towards sexual acts, you will feel much more comfortable starting a conversation with your partner and telling them exactly what you like, want and enjoy the most. However, it’s essential to communicate these emotions before you actually engage in any sexual activity, as it can help set certain boundaries from the start, and allow your partner to understand what your potential triggers, kinks and pleasure spots are.
Sex is an act of intimacy and connection, but it’s also a shared experience between consensual adults, which is why it’s crucial to ensure everyone involved feels completely safe and comfortable during this pleasurable act.
Once your thoughts and feelings are known and acknowledged, it might be time to go the extra mile with your partner by creating routines which will help you boost confidence together. Similar to the skin care routine you do each evening, try to explore with your partner, and discover together which activities work for both of you to become aroused quickly, easily and much more confidently. While it’s essential to understand yourself, it’s equally as important to understand your partner’s wishes and needs, if you want to build your self-esteem. By communicating openly and listening to their desires, you can develop certain habits and rituals together, which will significantly enhance your sexual experience.
Although discovering your sexual pleasures and desires might take some time and effort, with patience, frequent exploration and open communication, you will be able to build your sexual confidence in no time, and improve every aspect of your relationship.