Gals, do you have days when you need a universal translator to communicate with your man? They don’t teach Man 101 in school, so please allow me to pass along four essential man-tips and other instructions in the gentle care and feeding of your Y chromosomes that can quickly make your life better…a lot better – and yes, I’m talking about your sex life!
Last week I hosted the fabulous Mimi Donaldson on my radio show Bring Back Desire After Dark, and Mimi explained what we need to know and do… to get our men to make us very, very happy. After all, that’s one of the most important ways in which our men are so wonderfully helpful, isn’t it?
As Mimi explained, men are not just a hairy version of women. Their brains are not wired like our beautiful, intricate, superior female brains. The male brain is hard-wired to instantly recognize what is binary and simple. As a result, what those boys lack in subtlety they gain in the ability to attain narrow and sustained focus despite other distractions. So how is that helpful to us?
Imagine your man’s pre-human ancestors running and leaping after some creature through the dark dense woods, with no regard for the nettles or even style of footwear. Those are our big beautiful guys! Totallyfocused. Here’s the helpful part: when that man-focus is directed toward making you happy and satisfied – well, the simplicity of those man-brains takes on a certain… how to say it – practicality.
I’ve extracted four Essential Man-tips from the hilarious and insightful interview with Mimi Donaldson and listed them below – for even more laugh out loud moments, click here to listen to the full interview.
1. Men are not into hinting or subtlety. Remember to be direct, clear, concise, and get to the point quickly… no stories… just get to the bottom line. “Please buy me yellow roses for my birthday;” (not just “flowers” – be specific) or, “I really like it when you kiss my neck right under my ear.” Men love this kind of simple direction and quick honest feedback.
Don’t fret, this doesn’t mean you never get to tell a longer story, gals! You just need to prepare your Y chromosomes in advance. Example: “I have a story I need to share with you… all you need to do is listen, no advice or solution is needed, ok honey?” Given men’s gift for single-minded focus, they will focus all their brainpower just on you. Go ahead – tell him a story.
2. Men are literal creatures. They mean what they say and say what they mean. Example: when a man says he’s going to bed, it means he’s going to bed right now. When a woman says she’s going to bed, first she stops and folds laundry, does some dishes, pays a few bills, and finally arrives in bed. Men are confused by such complexity and can forget what motivated them to go to bed in the first place. You may have to compete with a football game if you delay too long!
3. Men do not like to be criticized. But they do love to help and be appreciated! For optimum results, ask your darling man to solve a problem for you or help you with something. Then let him know how much you appreciate him when he completes his task. You’ll recognize that bit of wisdom from dog training manuals. But hey, it works great on dogs! Example: “Honey, I love it when you… x@&!xyz” or… “Sweetheart, it feels so wonderful when you… x@&!xyz” or… “I feel so loved when you x@&!xyz.” Don’t forget the queen of all acknowledgements – “thank you!”
4. Men thrive on praise. Never make the mistake of explaining how something should have been done. Praise and reward works wonders with these simple but loving Y chromosome creatures!
I’m sure you’ll find these tips useful. By understanding how men are wired and adjusting our behavior accordingly, we can bring more love, joy and laughter into our lives… and more satisfaction between the sheets. Let me know how you make out! (Well, not literally.)
For more ideas on how to have a happy, joyous and totally satisfying sex life… visit Bring Back Desire!ANDE LYONS www.bringbackdesire.com @bringbackdesire @AndeLyons