I would like to add a few more things to this list of things every woman should have and should know by the time she’s thirty.
For one – a favorite pair of panties – whether they’re old and a little worn, sexy, comfy, whatever. Even the simplest pair can be a “favorite” and make a woman FEEL sexy, no matter what’s under her dress/shorts/jeans.
A pair of long rubber gloves and safety goggles. Those warning labels on drain/tub cleaners are serious. And a woman can only count on her own clumsiness to stay at bay for so long. It’s a gamble. So to protect that skin, that hair style, those hazel eyes, please, for goodness’ sake, buy a pair of rubber gloves and goggles to protect yourself!
A rolling pin, a set of mixing bowls, a whisk, and a stand up, state-of-the-art mixer. When I began to add cooking/baking to my resume as an interesting woman, I realized I had none of these. How had I none of these kitchen essentials?! I was forced to use a spatula and my discount “popcorn” bowl to mix up ingredients. The stand-up mixer will be something I have to save for, or beg for all year for Christmas, but I WILL have one, eventually. For now, a hand-held electric mixer will do.
Clothes that FIT. When you begin to accept your body and play up your best features, your confidence will grow. You feel less self-conscious. A little more able to just be yourself, when you grow more comfortable in your own skin.
Which leads to…shopping on a budget. There are deals everywhere, and while it’s wise not to fall into them all the time, every now and then, venture out with $10 Kohl’s cash plus a 15% off savings pass and take advantage. Have a list of a few items in mind – a colorful pair of shorts, a sundress, a pair of aviators, a cover-up for your soon-approaching vacation. Try to stick to that. Set an amount you WILL NOT go over. And see how much you come home with that you’ve been “needing” for months now! Beware: buy one, get one free or half off, etc – know when to get sucked in and when to put the hanger back on the rack and walk away empty handed.
Find a signature scent. This is nearly impossible in a day where Bath & Body Works and Victoria Secret are having their semi-annual sales. You always want to try what’s new. For me, heavy more perfume-type scents are too much. Which is why I have a scent-fixation on the body sprays. Trouble is, I can’t seem to narrow it down to just one, or find one that stays on all day. Buy small samples of the new lotions/sprays when they are $3 or less. Try narrowing it down to 5 or less. Then stick with some that are light, for breezy summer days, more musky/sexy for night life, and pleasant while at work. And don’t leave it up to the guy, so much. Find a few scents, stick to them, and go with it. How often have you heard a guy say he hates the way a woman smells???
Take your own advice now and then. We can always be excellent advice-givers to our family, friends, co-workers. But what about ourselves? Recently, I’ve been on a self-helpy kick. I know all of these things already, when it comes to guys, dating, self-image, etc. But I don’t put a lot of it into practice. This whole thing called life is a learning process, and we can only take one day at a time. For instance, I just advised a friend NOT to ask a guy out. It was a big step for her, to even consider doing it, because she’s had some relationship trauma that runs deep and she has never really had the chance to just date. I told her, the books I’ve been reading warn not to ask guys out. Let them do the pursuing! Yet, I had to talk myself out of initiating plans with the guy I’ve been serious with/in limbo with/”dating” for over 2 ½ years. Every now and then, he gets offended when he is the one who has to initiate plans “all the time.” In an effort to be less “needy,” though, I often take a step back and see how much effort he really makes when I stay out of contact for a day, or a couple days. But once in awhile, step by step, shouldn’t we take a minute, look at the advice we’re dishing out, and put it into practice in our own day-to-day? Who’s with me?!
And in case you haven’t see the original list, here it is (In 1997, Glamour magazine published a story titled “30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She’s 30.” The list is written by Pamela Redmond Satran):
By 30, you should have …
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age — and some money set aside to help fund it.
8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account — all of which nobody has access to but you.
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
13. The belief that you deserve it.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.
By 30, you should know …
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
2. How you feel about having kids.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
8. Where to go — be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat — when your soul needs soothing.
9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
15. Why they say life begins at 30
Each day, I'm one step closer to becoming the best-version-of-myself. I'm learning to fight for what's best for me, expect to get back the love I put out, and fall in love with myself first. 2013 is going to be my year - turning 30 is just the beginning.