Everyone does it at some point. You get involved in a relationship that all your friends have warned you not to, and then spent the next few weeks or months attempting to pick up the pieces from the inevitable destruction. If this hasn’t happened to you yet, well done you. There’s still time to learn and make sure that it doesn’t happen in your future. If, however, it seems to be happening far too often for your liking, then these tips should help you to break that vicious cycle you seem to be stuck in. Whether your goal is to end up in a healthy sexy marriage or you just want to have a relationship to give you some company in your life, below are some tips to help you recognise when it’s time to cut your losses and move on, preferably before you get too invested.
They are rude to you
During the first few weeks of a relationship, you should remember one thing. This is the nicest, most considerate, and most romantic that this person is likely going to be with you. Most people find it easy to go above and beyond to impress the person they like and win them over in the early days. If they are already being rude to you, this is not a good sign. You should definitely be on the lookout for backhanded compliments or ‘negging’. If you notice behaviour like this, run a mile. It’s worth even researching these ‘pick-up’ sites that offer tips like these for people who seek to have what can only be described as unhealthy relationships. If you know their tricks already, they can’t fool you.
They are possessive
50 Shades of Grey might have painted it as romantic, but anyone that starts referring to you as something or someone that belongs to them is someone you want to steer clear of. Always remember that you are your own person, and no one should be able to tell you what to do and where to go. Jealousy ties in here too. A little touch of the green-eyed monster never hurt anyone, but if your partner can’t even stand the sight or thought of your talking to someone else, then that is behaviour that should not be tolerated. You should not have to put a dampener on your social interactions because they don’t have control of their emotions.
They are too clingy or too distant
This is a fine line to travel, and really it comes down to a judgement call on your part. Bear in mind that some people commit to relationships at different rates, and you shouldn’t be put off if you feel that one of you is a little more invested than the other in the early stages. But big discrepancies in commitment should be addressed. If it’s within certain tolerances, it might be worth having a frank discussion about where you see the relationship going and where it is now. However, if you partner of two weeks is seriously suggesting you get matching tattoos then they are probably a little too invested at this early stage, and you should think about taking things off the boil. Similarly, if your partner just isn’t making time to see you or speak to you and seems thoroughly disinterested, you should take the step to end things. Being single is far more preferable to being in an unfulfilling relationship.
The key to identifying warning signs is to try to take yourself out of the situation. If you find yourself justifying their behaviour constantly, or you wouldn’t put up with your friends treating you like this, then you should take control of the situation and end things before you get too invested to keep a clear head.