I’ve been with the same man for 14 years, and we only got married LAST YEAR. I see women in general make all kinds of mistakes in general, in relationships. Here, I can tell you from personal experience, when it comes to either dating or long term relationships, on making it LAST.
–DO show each other that show you appreciate each other. You don’t need to make grand gestures, but make sure that you thank him when he gives you things, or does things for you. This is not just any man, but everyone feels this way. If the things that a man does for you go unappreciated, he will simply stop giving. And you would feel the same way too if you felt unappreciated by a man. They won’t admit it, but many men would do anything for a woman to look up to him. Remember, men will climb mountains to get to the woman he loves. You’d be surprised how much just by saying, “You’re wonderful” does.
–DON’T nag. No one likes a nag but yet all women do it. If you have an issue with him and you’re annoyed / upset, bring it up, be short, succinct & to the point, and he will respect you for it. Usually this is how men think, & it’s best to communicate in a way he understands. When men break up with women, they will never say, “You complain too much.” If you’re only dating, he might just say to you, “Maybe we should take a break.” Or some other scapegoat reason to get out of the relationship.
–DO maintain some level of sex appeal throughout your relationship. Even if you’re just dating, or have been married for years. I’m not saying you should be wearing low bearing tops all the time, but a man always wants to feel attracted to his woman, especially if it’s for the long haul. And you would feel the same way too! You would hate if a man started gaining weight, balding, or stopped paying attention to his hygiene. A man sometimes just wants to look at his partner & think, “She looks great!” Everyone has that desire that they just want to look at their significant other and feel proud. Look good, feel good, & expect him to do the same.
–DON’T ask “where is this going?” when you’re in a relationship. ALL men hate this question but yet lots of women ask it. Let me just answer your question now they don’t know. So don’t ask.
–DO activities together that you both enjoy. This keeps the spark there after years of being together. If you’ve been together for a LONG time, it can get boring very quickly. Do especially new things together. Doesn’t have to be anything big, it could be as simple as going to a restaurant that you’ve never been to before. Take a trip to a new location. Explore a new store, beach, museum, etc, together. The more common interests you have, the easier it is. Take classes together, something you both like! Whether it’s learning a new language, or dance classes, it helps keep the spark there even after many years of being in a relationship.
–DON’T depend on technology to communicate. If you’re in a long distance relationship, obviously you have no choice, but in all honesty most long distance relationships don’t work out. This is especially important when you’re just dating. People don’t realize how important it is, but face-to-face interaction is extremely important. I think the MOST that people should do is talk over the phone / Skype. In this modern day & age, it’s very common to Facebook and text each other when you’re dating, but it’s DEFINITELY something I don’t recommend. I definitely don’t recommend sexting either. (You don’t want your naked pics to show up on Google) You hear stories nowadays of people breaking up by text message, email, or on Facebook. Don’t let that happen to you. If you are in the beginning of dating someone new, insist that you meet more often (vs. texting each other all the time). Don’t constantly do the social media thing. At the end of the day, we’re still human, and what we’re looking for is face-to-face interaction. Love doesn’t last on Instagram.
–DO keep things interesting in your sex life in a relationship. No, you don’t have to be a gymnast in bed, but let’s be realistic, ALL men want to have sex. But no man wants to be known as the guy who only gets it once a month. Best to keep things interesting by being spontaneous. Generally men don’t like planned sex. (Ok, we can have sex at 4:00, because I’m meeting a friend at 5:00..) Don’t do that. Keep things hot by being more random.
If you are in the beginning of dating someone new, try to keep things platonic for at least a month. Men won’t tell you this either, but there’s no future in one night stands. And the earlier you have sex, the faster a man will get bored.
–DON’T push commitment on him or constantly ask him when you’re getting married. And never treat a man like you’ve been cheated out of a wedding. Too many women treat marriage like it’s like the light at the end of the tunnel, but honestly when you’re in a serious relationship, vs. when you’re married, it’s pretty much the same thing. The only difference between the 2 is really a piece of paper. If you’re just dating, just enjoy things as they go along. Be the exception to the rule. When the day comes and he introduces you as his girlfriend, just look at him and say, “I am?”
And actually in all honesty the more a man wants to get married, the less he will talk about it. This is simply the nature of the beast. And conversely, women are the opposite. i.e. Generally the more a man talks about sex, usually the less interested a woman is in having it. THIS is how men feel about marriage. The MORE you talk about it, the less interested he probably will be. If he does want to get married, he might mention it occasionally. LET him be the one to bring it up. If you come across a guy who never wants to get married and you do, simply don’t date him. If after a year of dating, he still hasn’t brought it up, mention that you would like something more from the relationship. And see what he says from there.
Ok I hope my advice has been helpful for you! I hope this has been a helpful guide in navigating your relationships, but as in anything in life, it can be a challenge. Feel free to visit my blog (my blog is more of a fashion blog) but feel free to drop a question about relationships if you’d like!
Be happy, be healthy, but most importantly be smart when looking for that man of your dreams.