“I’m dating skid-marks guy. When your boyfriend is so comfortable that he cannot be bothered to wipe his ass, there’s a problem.” – Miranda Hobbes
You may be chuckling when you read this quote but getting too comfortablein your relationship may be the source of the lack of romance, or worse….lack of SEX. I don’t want to make generalizations because I know a-plenty of men that don’t do these things and likewise woman who would never touch some of these topics. Here is just a friendly list of things to watch out for as you get comfy in your relationship:
1.) Peeing with the door open – I know a lot of people take honor in being this comfortable with each other and really, it’s not that big of a deal but it’s just one more thing that takes away from the intimacy. Unless you’re getting a golden shower – I say keep the door closed. It will make your “showers” more special too…! Also while I’m here, no peeing in the shower together unless of course it’s a golden shower! Hot pee smells likes stale buttered popcorn – please, spare your mate.
2.) Farting. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this but I know plenty of relationship and married friends, mostly women, who just roll their eyes when their mate belts one out in public. This is gross and embarrassing to most women. If your woman is cool with it and you laugh, write me and tell me if you’re still laughing five years later and then jot down your sex schedule for me, if it exists. How many times have you seen Ryan Gosling fart in all of his hot movies your wife/girlfriend melts over? NONE. It’s so not hot. I don’t want to keep men alone in this bin…I know a rare few girls that like to let some rip…and I would still urge her not to do this. This is so not sexy. Find other ways to be funny.
3.) Sweat pants. Now when I talk about getting comfortable, I literally mean getting too comfortable! Most guys will actually tell you that they like their women with no make up and sweat pants the most. God bless these men. Only some really get how much upkeep it is. I’m not saying you have to look like a pristine Barbie doll all the time, but if you are going to do the no make-up and sweat pants, make sure they are clean and not your holiest pair. Put some moisturizer on to make sure your face is clean and glowing! There are ways you can dress up the comfortable. Make sure your hair is cleaned and combed. This will make the whole look a lot more sexy.
4.) Don’t forget your bedtime routine. I get it. It’s late, you’ve had a long day. You just want to crawl into bed with your mate. I don’t know your mate but I’m sure they would much rather get into bed with a clean face and mouth before they get into bed! Also, brushing 2-3 times a day should cease any bad breath, making morning sex that much better! No matter how tired you get, try not to let these things lag. As a woman, nothing is worse to me than waking up with last nights make up smeared all over my face. Brush those teeth and clean that face. At night is your most opportune time to get laid so try to make sure you’re both at your best.
5.) At your worst…lastly, we can get so comfortable with how we treat our mate we literally stop filtering our mood, words, and actions. Unfortunately, sometimes they get our worst and become an emotional punching bag. Just in case you weren’t following, this isn’t sexy. This doesn’t make me want to pounce someone. Try reframing your words and how you describe your day to your mate to make it positive.
BE someone your mate wants to be around.
Whew, I feel like this could have gone longer, but if you want more on this tweet me @jennatimetweets. Likewise, if you disagree, ah, nevermind, just close the window out and go have lunch or something!