Plenty of Fish…or Plenty of the Same Old BS?


Ah…online dating.  I know that more and more people are doing it, but it still has this weird stigma in my world.  I have always been determined to stay away from it, but then a friend of mine joined Plenty Of Fish.  I knew it was free, and she got a few dates right off the bat, so I thought, what the hell?  I will do it for an experiment since it’s free. At least I can get compliments every day in the privacy of my own home, and if I don’t like the guys, I can ignore them.  It is just like bartending except I don’t have to see anyone face-to-face.  Awesome.

Wrong!  I was bored after about two days.  I would have deleted my profile at that point, but my friends requested that I keep it for their amusement.  I will say, it was pretty funny sharing the ridiculous messages I got with them.  I spent a fair amount of time at my computer alone laughing out loud, and I needed to show other people who understood.  That was one plus, I suppose!

It is a free site, so I got what I paid for (ha…ha…ha).  I did have a friend who said the guys on the paid sites were pretty much the same, though.  If you are presenting the best version of yourself, as I would imagine people do on a dating website, then I’m honestly scared.  I am pretty sure a lot of them were lying anyway – I’ve never seen so many people say they have masters degrees and athletic builds and jobs in “business” and “real estate”.  The profiles were mainly boring and unoriginal and the messages I got were lame and lazy.  Why would I answer someone who says “hey what’s up?” and then forgets they messaged me and sends the same thing again two days later?  Ugh.

Basically, it took me two days to figure out that dating websites are just not for me.  I’m not patient enough, first of all.  Then there’s the fact that I want to meet someone in person, feel their personality out, see if there is a spark.  I’m really big on initial chemistry with a guy.  I don’t want to try to figure all that out online, then go on a weird blind date and realize an hour in that he really is so boring that I want to put a drill in my eyeball right there at the bar.  It is also IMPOSSIBLE not to judge someone solely based on appearance, because there isn’t much else to go on!  I felt even more superficial than I do when I check out a guy jogging down the street shirtless…and it wasn’t nearly as pleasurable.

I ended up having the same problems that I have in real life anyway.  All the guys talking to me were way too young, way too unmotivated to actually get anywhere with, or way too far away.  My conclusion is that I’m sticking to meeting people out in the world, as discouraging as that feels sometimes.  I am so picky as it is that I really need that personal connection with someone to create interest.  I remain a hopeless romantic searching for it, despite all the other crap.  I hope that the dating websites work out for the rest of you, I really do.  They just aren’t my thing!

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Amy Horton
I am a writer, free spirit, and fairly functional human living in Los Angeles. I tell it like I see it and I don't hold back. I hope to connect with my readers through our common experiences and touch some hearts and souls!


  1. Dear Amy,

    I could not agree more. I tried Eharmony for a year and it was like having a second full time job. It was an adventure to say the least. I wrote about it on one of Stuart’s posts. I am just at a quandary because I have tried everything from soup to nuts and not sure what path to take.

  2. POF sucks to begin with! It’s slow and you have to wait for things to load (I have a fairly decent comp and I do light tech support on the side and it still bogs my processor and memory upgrades). The people on it are not the issue, but rather how the site itself is set up. There are not a lot of options to it when it comes to putting info about yourself, plus the fact that the layout and design is just horrible (this is coming from a Digital Media Arts background, so it may have little relevance to other issues regarding the site).

    There are better free dating sites like (my personal fav). There are a lot of potential spouses on that one! If I feel like looking for trashy ladies, I go on!

    If you hate POF as much as I kinda do, and if you want to try something different, check out the following sites:

    Anyways, if this site (DirtyAndThirty) can double as a dating site…………holla @ me Amy! Let’s have dinner at your favorite fancy fast food joint on cheap burger or taco night!

  3. Miss Meppy says: is really the best one out there, because they ask a ton of questions and actually use math to find your matches. They also keep a pretty interesting blog about it all:

  4. Raul says:

    If it’s a first date, I make it a point to have the date somewhere she is flaimiar with, to give her a sense of security (not that I’m planning to do something, really). I also avoid movies on first dates, because you’re just gonna sit there and watch and not interact, and the point of first dates is breaking the ice and getting the basics on each other.A simple dinner would be nice. Somewhere near her place. And also, how well do you know each other? If you’ve been acquaintances for some time, you could propose picking her up from her place. I also don’t mind double dates (as long as she’s cool with it, and you BOTH know the tag-alongs ).And my sis just told me to tell you: Be cool. Be a gentleman. And DON’T try too hard .Goodluck I read the other answers and I agree with them- Coffee shop’s are good for social dates.

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