I’ve got a confession: I’m not spontaneous. Nope. Not even the teeniest tiniest bit. I’ve actually been asked this question in the “do I want to/are you worth meeting IRL” line of questioning we all do. I think, scratch that I know my answer has been the reason I’ve never met these men. I’m 100% okay with that. My life doesn’t lend itself to spontaneity. How about another confession? I’m a mom. Shhh, let’s keep that just between us. Please feel free to deduce why spontaneity & motherhood aren’t besties I’m not here to do that.
Well hey there…
One of the first things I do when I wake up is check my email. One such morning I saw a “group-on esque” deal for a beer festival. FYI-I like to add esque to words just because & I like scratch that, love air quotes. This was just a typical Tuesday morning. Deciding on Tuesday to do something on Saturday, is an example of the spontaneity I had no idea I was capable of. Step one: deciding I’m going to do it. Now for Step two: finding a +1. I asked this guy go. Let’s call him Rocky. We’d been talking for awhile & I knew this kind of thing was right up his alley. I figured, what the hell? PS-who am I? He accepted my invite & just like that I kicked spontaneity in the nuts!
Me, myself & I
I’ve developed a pattern of arriving before my date to said date. This occasion was no different. Let’s for shits & giggles play back our timeline:
12:41PM I told him I was twenty-five minutes away, getting ready to leave & he told me he was getting ready and ten minutes away
1:22PM I had been dropped up by dear ol’ dad & was walking toward the park, to which he replied, “okay be there soon”
This is where I discovered something, I can do things alone & have a really good time! I broke in my cup & started drinking!
1:50PM He asked where I was & said he was close. My response, “I’m here homeboy”
2:38PM FINALLY, Rocky appeared in the flesh. Are you thinking it’s about damn time? Because that’s totally what I was thinking!
Oh, I totally left out the part where I decided to sit down on a basketball court in an attempt to pace myself. A cute man started talking me up & in just a few minutes we had exchanged some basic information about ourselves and he gave me his digits! The lesson here ladies is: have a good time, smile & laugh because you never know whose looking!
Drinking & Dating
This is a rather touchy subject, the whole drinking on a first date. Marie Claire did some investigative work on the subject & answers the question:
Is it possible to navigate the dating minefields without a single drop of alcohol?
Let’s talk about this. First, read the article. It’s excellent. For me, up until this very moment a non-drinker was a deal breaker however, after reading this maybe it’s silly. Maybe it’s not. I’m totally going to need my thinking cap for this one. Not to jump the broom or anything but I want an open bar at my wedding. Hello, I can’t find a boyfriend and I just threw around the word wedding like there’s any light at the end of my tunnel. There isn’t. It’s dark. Back to the topic at hand, it wasn’t easy for her at first. It took some finessing but in the end she figured some things out about herself & owned her shit which led her to finding a guy that didn’t have non-drinker on his list of deal breakers. Bonus: they spent some time in the buff prior to sharing an intimate horizontal moment! In the words of P. Diddy, “take that, take that!”
The setting for my date was a beer festival. Drinking is what your supposed to do. I just wanted to have some fun & inject some new male energy, enter stage left Rocky. He knew his beer and he could totally call what I would like & what I wouldn’t. Oh, random fact he doesn’t like pretzels. He doesn’t hold ill will toward the chocolate covered variety however, smart man. I’ve yet to cover that he’s a Dad. Like a hands on put the kids to bed Dad. Not the weekend variety. As we made the trek to his car I razzed him about his tardiness. He had the audacity to mutter some mumbo jumbo about “daddy duties” being a perfectly good enough excuse. Newsflash: being a parent doesn’t mean that you can show up as late as he did & without addressing it or apologizing. Like profusely apologizing. It was an hour & I don’t give a damn that he’s a dad! Note to the fellas out there: Don’t keep a pretty girl waiting.
In all honesty I still don’t consider myself spontaneous. What I can acknowledge is my ability to make up my mind to do something & then being game to do it with a +1 or solo style. Fun times are definitely ahead!