MAKING THE FIRST MOVE. A question I often hear from my friends in Los Angeles is, “Why is dating in L.A so hard?”

You can blame it on all the overachievers who are trying to live the above average life or perhaps The Peter Pan Complex where no one wants to grow up. Whatever the reason, dating in L.A is one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced.

Even though I’ve recently decided to take a break from – primarily online – dating, and embark on a little soul-searching journey, doesn’t mean I still don’t enjoy trying to figure out the dating puzzle of L.A.

When I was thirteen years old, awkward, pimply, and insecure, I found out that a young man who lived in my town had a crush on me, which I found interesting because we never had spoken a word to each other. I would catch him riding his bike slowly past my house and sneaking peeks at me in the hallways at school.  Through all of this he never once tried to have a conversation with me or ask me out.  To this day, I still wonder how someone can have a crush and never do anything about it.

Recently, one of my hot, fit, sassy friends went out to a bar in Venice. She was dressed to the nines.  At the bar, she caught a glimpse of a good looking, gentleman looking her way.  She smiled at him. As the night went on the gentleman continued to gaze her way from time to time but never made the move to come over and have a conversation with her. My friend was baffled.

This last week I ended up getting into an interesting conversation with one of the maintenance men in my building at work.  He asked, if I was married or had a boyfriend. I replied no.  He then mentioned I must get hit on a lot then.  Again, I replied no.  To my surprise, the maintenance man replied that he probably wouldn’t hit on me either if he was single!  He said I’m an attractive blonde woman, who is fit and seems to have a good head on her shoulders.  Since I seemed like the real deal he figured I would turn him down if he ever approached me.

The maintenance man’s statement shocked me.  In a sea of L.A women that have perfect bodies and perfect wardrobes, I consider myself to be a normal, average, girl next door. Why would anyone be intimated by me?

I don’t have a solution to fix this insecurity problem of fear of rejection but it definitely puts dating in Los Angeles into perspective. Guess we all are at least a little insecure about something.

Born and raised in Buffalo, NY, Tanya knew from a young age she wanted to live in California. After graduating college, Tanya worked hard to save up enough money to move cross country. She now spends her days working in Financial Planning and her evenings cooking up a storm for her Instagram page Cheesylagirl. Tanya’s many talents include having a keen sense for spotting the most random celebrities and cooking macaroni and cheese from scratch. She’s excited to be a part of the Dirty and Thirty blogging community and hopes to marry Adam Driver one day.
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