Dating in 2014 can be challenging! As a life and dating coach whose mission is to empower women, and as a woman who has been on more first dates than I care to admit, here are some tips to empower you with your dating experiences:
BE YOURSELF AND OWN IT
The best advice I can give to women in the dating world is be yourself and own it…flaws and all! Whether you are 21 or 51, dating in college or newly divorced, a sexy skinny minnie or a voluptuous vixen, you have plenty of interesting qualities and experiences to bring to the table. Share your strengths and interests that you feel good about with your date. Women often struggle with either being too vulnerable or having too strong of an opinion on a date, but I believe you should allow both and be yourself. The “right” man will respect that you are who you are, your past helps to create the person you are today and that you have an opinion. And, remember, what one man views as a “flaw” of yours, the right man will find utterly “adorable”!
DO NOT JUDGE YOURSELF OR GIVE YOUR POWER AWAY
Dating is supposed to be a fun and positive experience, but when negative circumstances arise, our affection is not returned or we are rejected for a following date, it is easy for us to take it personally and feel like something is wrong with us. Do not judge yourself or analyze what is wrong with you! When we do not get attention, affection, love or validation from others, it is easy to feel like we are flawed, not good enough or allow it to affect our self-esteem. When we allow other people to dictate how we feel about ourselves, we give away our own true power. Do not give your power away to a date who does not appreciate the A-mazing person you are! I promise another date will be coming who totally gets what a special “catch” you are!
VISUALIZE YOUR PERFECT DATE EXERCISE
When I am motivational speaking or coaching private clients, I find visualization exercises very helpful. If you have experienced a lousy date, rather than feeling discouraged and getting stuck in the negativity, I recommend trying this exercise: Sit quietly with your eyes closed for 5 minutes. Take 3 deep breaths to release any negative feelings you are experiencing from your date. Then, I want you to visualize your “perfect” man and your “perfect” date. Get super specific! See and feel EVERY detail as you would want it to be! Visualize what he looks like, what he says to you, what you look like together, where you are and even what that first magical kiss feels like! You get the picture! J My bet is that you will have forgotten the negative feelings around that lousy date and your heart will be overflowing with love and joy! Makes your dating future look and feel brighter, doesn’t it?
-Brooke Lewis, Be You And Be Fearless Life Coach, Dating Expert