Recently I was chatting with a good friend of mine, and bless his heart…… one of his EX girlfriends….. was giving him the….. longest…… line about how hopeless life looked because she feared she’d be single forever AND he being the good guy he is… asked me what he could do to make her feel better.
Now, I’ll bear with you girls. Sometimes it’s downright scary looking at some of our options out there. As much as people are always saying there are “other fish out there” more and more it just seems like maybe we’re indeed looking for a mythical creature, and much more than a fish but more like a merman. I get it.
Two things dead wrong with this though:
1.) NEVER call your ex complaining about the lack of good men. Male or female they are in some part of their little fishy brain going to relish in your misery. This also reinforces why they left you. We live in a society where the weak is looked down upon and the confident are sought out (not agreeing with the society here, sometimes weakness can be vulnerability and that’s sexy- sometimes, don’t OD on that gem). Even if you went Brittney and just shaved your head- you walk with that shaved head high! Neverrrrrrrrr chin down around the ex!
2.) How many times do you have to watch “The Secret” to understand how powerful your thoughts are? If you practice this mantra over and over “I’ll never meet anyone.” “I’m going to be single forever” – you’re on the RIGHT track to self fulfilling your worst nightmare.
Now, I’m not one to just stand pretty on a soap box and check out, no, no, I’m going to help you. Hang tight. Here goes.
First step is easy, when talking to your ex- POLLYANNA it up. You’re doing great, you’re out and about with new friends. Does your ex think you hate concerts? Well you just went to three last week. Showing a different shade will confuse the hell out of them and keep them wondering about you.
Second, time to retrain your brain. Remember, all thoughts and beliefs in your head ARE PLACED there BY YOU. The good news: YOU can change them. YES……so, start using mantra’s like “I can’t wait to meet the next guy I date” “I’m meeting so many interesting people these days” – it sounds corny but believe me, things will start changing for you.
Again, I’m not down on girls or guys. It’s a tough market out there when you see a bunch of fish and all you’re looking for is one sexy merman!
Miss Jenna Couture is a Sexuality Educator & Intimacy Coach. She has extensive experience in working with a full spectrum of sexuality issues from sexual desire, sexual dysfunction, and relational issues for couples and individuals.