I am that girl. The one who is in a happy healthy relationship. The one who has been with her boyfriend for years. The one who is with her high school sweet heart. The one whose girlfriends think has it all.
The one person who doesn’t think I have it all- my mother.
My mother can’t seem to understand why I would want to “waste” my twenties with the same guy. How can I possibly be happy settling in with the same person I have been with since I was 16? She always likes to remind me, in her most loving tone, “ You know, there are so many fish in the sea no need to stop looking now!”
Married at 23 and divorced at 41 my mom tends to be a skeptic when it comes to relationships. Her biggest fear for me is that I will make the same mistake as her, getting married too young. After every vacation, celebration, or holiday my mother exhales a huge sigh of relief when she has confirmation that he still hasn’t put a ring on it.
Every time we have a discussion about my relationship it goes the same direction. I defend my relationship and she explains how she really does loves my boyfriend she just doesn’t want me to settle.
What does it mean to settle? For me settling would be sticking it out with a guy who I wasn’t completely happy with. Settling would be staying with the person who you can have mediocre sex with and pleasant conversations around the dinner table. Settling is staying because you are comfortable and afraid of taking the plunge back into the dating pool.
What if he is the best you can get? Is it worth taking the risk to leave and look for something new?
For me the scarier option is staying with the person just because it is easy. Relationships are work, a legitimate full time job. If it isn’t then you are probably not doing it right.
My relationship is not all sunshine and daisies. We fight, I cry, we make up, we laugh, and we genuinely can’t see our lives with out each other. I would rather go through hell for the right guy then walk on water for the wrong one.
I was one of the lucky ones. I found the guy worth the fight at a young age. I don’t settle, I fight for everything, I know what I want and I will get it. If I ever stop fighting then I will have reevaluate my life. Mom don’t worry, I refuse to settle.
You shouldn’t settle for happy, fight for the life you dream of and for the man you cant live without.
And remember Mom is a smart lady. Listen and learn from her but remember you are your own woman and you don’t have to make the same mistakes.Twitter: @paigesull Instagram: paigesull YouTube: YouTube.com/perfectpaige10 EIGHT FIVE MINUTE DATES – ONE WOMAN’S EXPERIENCE WITH SPEED DATING IS IT STILL CALLED THE “WALK OF SHAME” IF YOU DON’T HAVE SEX?