How do we choose our partners? Does their social class influence our choice? Sociologists and psychologists say yes. According to them, a harmonious relationship is possible only between a man and a woman who belong to the same social class. Indeed, we feel more comfortable with people from “our league”, that is the people with a similar level of education, interests, and values. Two representatives of one social class can initially have more in common than, let’s say, long-term partners with different backgrounds. When two people from different “leagues” start dating, they don’t notice any striking differences between them. But gradually, as they get to know each other better, they begin to realize they come from different worlds. Their relationship can work if their values coincide and they don’t care about each other’s background. But usually, cross-class couples face a lot of issues. Different incomes and personal values often lead to controversies that may kill the relationship. If you happened to fall for the person out of your class but you want to build a relationship with that person, you should know what to watch out for.
Different interests. A person brought up in a particular environment will differ from a person brought up in another environment. It’s obvious. Our personalities are formed and influenced by our families, upbringing, education, experiences or in other words by our background. When you go out with a new person, you don’t know much about each other, so you should be tolerant. A classic example: you visit an art exhibition but you see that your date doesn’t seem to be very interested in it. If you’re an art lover, it doesn’t mean your date is also keen on it. Become a guide for your partner and enlighten him or her in an unobtrusive manner. Find out about your date’s passions and accept the fact that they can be different from yours.
Financial status. If you belong to different social classes, you will understand the phrase “an ideal date/evening/vacation” differently. It will largely depend on your financial status because this is what usually forms our preferences. Also, your cultural background is the thing that prompts you to a particular kind of entertainment. That’s why you might want to go to the theater or a fancy restaurant while your date might want to go to the bar or just spend the evening at home watching movies. It’s recommended to discuss finance-related aspects in order to get a clear idea of each other’s means.
Inequality. You should respect your partner’s job or occupation no matter how prestigious it is. It might be their temporary job before they land their dream position. Or it might be their vocation and they just get a kick out of it and turn a blind eye to the remuneration. Anyway, talk about your jobs and focus on the level of satisfaction they bring each of you. Don’t put the emphasis on your incomes, especially if it’s your initial dates. Focus on your partner’s personality instead.
Cultural differences. Even if your partner is from a lower class, their income can be the same as yours thanks to their well-remunerative job. But financial equality doesn’t meet cultural equality. Having different background you probably have different habits, interests, opinions, and purposes in life. Even food preferences and table manners may differ. What you can and should do is to be tolerant.
When two people from different social classes start dating, their families will be the first to say they are not meant to be. If you’re serious about your partner, don’t let other people impose some stereotypes and their fears on you.
The article is provided by RomanceCompass, an online dating site where men can meet and date Russian women online.