Don’t act like you haven’t heard it before. The female version of Bros Before Hoes is a motto to live by. I am a firm advocate and a devout practitioner! Now, don’t get me wrong, I think men are wonderful and I have a lot of male friends. What I do take issue with is the way that many women behave when they start dating someone new. Everyone has that friend – or those friends, usually – who disappear into some sort of black hole controlled by whatever new penis that’s hanging around. It is beyond irritating. The girl who called you every day to talk, vent, and laugh when she was single is suddenly nowhere to be found. She is caught up in Boyfriend-World and you can’t break the spell. Now when YOU are the one who needs a shoulder to cry on, you are left talking to a voicemail greeting and perusing a Facebook feed you have to block so that you don’t end up vomiting.
Here’s my philosophy: men come and go. Yes, it is cynical, but usually true. Your friends (male and female) are always there for you. You may meet someone you think is “The One”, but you know who is going to be there when he’s gone? Your friends. If you spend your whole relationship alienating those people, who will be there for you when you are newly single again? No one. You will spend those sad post-breakup days alone, sobbing snot-rockets into your pillow, blearily staring at pictures of the two of you through the slits between your swollen eyelids. You will start calling those people you don’t even like much but who you know will listen to you. You will Google your ex 100 times a day because no one is there to drag you out, buy you a drink, and make you laugh in spite of yourself. In short, you will be totally screwed.
There is a disturbing trend in mass media which portrays the sad cattiness that happens between women as normal and prevalent. “Real Housewives” and other reality TV focuses on these petty fights and glorifies them. Women should be helping each other and supporting each other, not stabbing each other in the back. In reality, my friendships are the backbone and joy of my life. I can honestly say that as much as I have loved and enjoyed the company of men, my friends have always given me the most happiness. Now, if you can integrate those two elements of your life, by all means do it. I don’t trust a man who can’t get along with my friends and neither should you – unless you happen to have horrible friends. In that case, disregard this article, move somewhere new, and get better taste.
Ladies, please don’t abandon those people who have been by your side all along. You won’t regret making the effort. You will also be able to call your friends out when they try to pull that crap on you…and who doesn’t love that?