1. CHOOSE the dating site(s) that are right for what/whom you are looking for. Know that some dating sites are known for LOVE and some are notorious for attracting singles looking for “SMOOSHING”(Yup, I went Jersey Shore there!)! I love when one of my fave dating gurus, Steve Harvey, calls one of the dating apps the “Getting The Cookie” app!
2. Have an OBJECTIVE and HONEST person in your life read/edit your profile before you post it. You do not want to create a false perception of yourself, in either a positive nor negative way. And, this person cannot be your Mom, because you know she will tell you that you are the smartest girl on the planet and that you even looked gorgeous in the photos after having your wisdom teeth out! You will end up on a date with Alvin! Then again, ladies, Alvin would be the best online date I have had in a while!!! LOL!
3. Be HONEST in your PROFILE! If you have children, say so. If you have pets, say so. If you smoke, say so. If you live in another state, say so. You will eventually be found out! I cannot tell you how many guys online have lied to me about having pets and I am DEATHLY allergic! I ask this question in the very first email. I dated a guy for a month, really liked him and could never figure out why he didn’t invite me back to his place and always wanted to stay at mine. I busted him and it turned out, he had 3 cats! Obviously, I dumped him. And, ladies, I will keep my professional opinion about “men who have 3 cats” out of this article!!! HA!
4. POST at least two photos and make sure one is a FULL LENGTH photo. Post photos that are WARM and WELCOMING. Make sure you SMILE in one. SEXY photos are fine, just don’t overdo it or give away too much too soon! Trust me, this will save you a lot of time and self-esteem issues when men continue to ask for “more full body shots”. Oh, they will ask anyway, as they will often ask for you to text them lingerie or bikini photos once you move to the phone, but this is a different article completely! And, ladies…NO you DO NOT have to send ANYTHING you are not comfortable with!
5. Make sure the person contacting you has at least two PHOTOS, as well! You have every RIGHT to ask for more. If TEETH are important to you, ask for a smiling photo! I met a gorgeous guy online once. He had several photos posted, but none smiling. I am always wary, because that tells me something about someone’s personality. Regardless, I took a chance and met him. I wasn’t too surprised when he smiled and had the most black and jacked teeth ever! Don’t worry, ladies, NO tongue on that date. LOL
6. You DO NOT have to RESPOND to every contact you receive! Be as KIND and considerate as possible, but you do not “owe” anyone anything. Being a sweet gal, I used to spend hours responding to emails from men saying “no thank you” and kindly explaining the reasons we were not a match. Often, men would respond with some nasty, cutting remark like, “You look like a short slut with big tits anyway!” HA! Ladies, your time is valuable. Don’t waste it!
7. Make sure you have a full length PHONE CONVERSATION before you meet for a date! This does not mean a full TEXT CONVERSATION! Take the time to see if you VIBE and have a connection worth pursuing in person. Ladies, remember women’s intuition! When I pay attention to my intuition and actually follow it, it rarely fails me! You want to ask the guy questions, really listen (red flags), see how you feel in the conversation and make sure the person on the other end of the phone is not a NUTBALL!
8. Meet in PUBLIC and on NEUTRAL territory! Take your own car and do not go to someone’s HOME. In keeping it real, I have made this mistake more than once and it rarely turned out well! Several times, I have asked guys to drive me home before we ever got to the bar or restaurant and one time, I literally threw a guy out of my home after a first date. Be smart and safe and do as I say, not as I do! LOL
9. Make your first date a BRIEF one. I recommend COFFEE or a DRINK. Give yourself a responsible “out”, if you need it! This is a hard rule I commit to! I made a lot of mistakes online dating many years ago when I started and definitely learned the hard way! If you plan a full extravagant evening with a guy you have never met, you will regret it if he looks nothing like his photos, you have zero chemistry and the conversation is like watching your toe nails dry!
10. NO SEX on the first date! Okay, you’re an adult and if you want it, go for it…BUT, know that when things happen too quickly, they usually end quickly too! Again, remember what my man, Steve Harvey, says about guys who “get the cookie” too soon! Ladies, I am here to support and guide you, so I don’t want you giving up the cookie, having him not call, then drowning yourself in cronuts! LOL And, if it happens, call me. I will coach you right back to your power place!
– Ask The Drama Queen
XO Brooke Lewis, Life Coach & Dating Expert