There are some things I’m not great at. Not many, but some. One thing I have mastered in my 30 years of life, is the ability to walk into a place and get something or everything for free. I believe this trait is hereditary, as I saw my mother be successful at this all of her life. I have walked into a place and had mine and my friend’s $100+ dinners paid for by a stranger. I’ve walked into the MAC Store and been given free lip gloss from the gay salesman for no reason. I have witnesses.
Before I go on, you should know I am one of THE MOST independent women you will EVER meet in your life. I have witnesses.
Now that I’ve made that clear, I’d like to express the fact that I am always so flabbergasted when a guy comes up to talk to my friends and I at a bar and doesn’t offer to buy us a drink. Or worse, walks his trifling ass to the bar, gets himself a drink without offering us one, and then returns to talk to us with no shame in his game. This happens A LOT, as well. I just returned from Vegas, where this was the case more often than not.
I’m not saying I expect anything, but if you are expecting ANY access to my vagina, you have already started off on the wrong foot… And leg. As Steve Harvey has stated, everyone knows vagina makes the world go ‘round. It is ultimately the reason why men are driven to get the job and the success and the clothes and the cars. We are all looking for a gentleman who makes us feel safe. You taking charge and being chivalrous and offering us a drink can make us feel safe. And you know what else? If you came over to talk to us at a bar, you’re obviously hoping for a little more than conversation. So, guess what? The more alcohol you give us, the more appealing you are and the better your odds of getting vagina get.
Furthermore, being a girl is expensive. Do you know how much we spend in life to smell nice and be pretty and soft for guys? Waxing, makeup, hair products… It’s a lot. So if you don’t think I am worth at least one Stoli and grapefruit (Notice I didn’t say Grey Goose. I’m not high-maintenance. You’re welcome.) then don’t talk to me.
And cheers to the guys with the manners. That is what separates the MEN from the BOYS. I would like to buy YOU a drink.