Since I am a single woman living in L.A. chasing her dreams, I do not have much time for dating at this point in time. I am a busy gal. Although I miss a man’s love, I know I can get by until someone worthy comes along. I am not holding my breath. Finding someone special is like searching for the diamond in the rough through a sea of many many stones. I believe there is someone out there, I just know for the time being I need to have ‘Replacement Sex’ with myself.
When I say sex, I don’t necessarily mean the physical act of orgasm. Replacement sex is a term I’ve created to name the things that I enjoy when I am yearning for that touch. These things relax me and fill me up non-sexually. One could call it self-indulgence. I have many routines that give my heart love. When you feel lonely and are aching for that attention, it is time for some ‘replacement sex’. Here are a few of my routines:
A sensual bath
: I turn up the Classic Rock station, light my candles, pour a glass of red and drop a decent amount of Lavender oil into a hot bath. I turn the lights down and unwind. I love these nights.
: When I wish I was cooking for two, I enjoy cooking for one just as much. I pick a dish to prepare, put my Chopin on, turn off my phone, and see what I can accomplish in that kitchen. The meal is thoroughly enjoyed with a glass of vino while reading my bible Rolling Stone Magazine.
My OM time
: Life is crazy busy and sex can be very meditative, in fact its one of the only meditations many humans experience. Because I don’t have a partner, I have turned to YOGA as my meditation. I enjoy every breath, stretch and sore muscle just as I do in sex. After my Yoga class I opt for a yummy beet juice and maybe wine with friends. This is a huge part of my life, and trust me your body will love it.
: Even though I sleep alone, I make sure to often wear slips, lingerie, and kimonos just to stay in the game. I love to paint and write my music with red lipstick on and dress up late at night before I hit the hay. It is a ritual for me, especially if I have written or painted something new. I must reward myself and see myself in the mirror as woman who still ‘has it’.
Nurture some nature
: Oh my patio, it’s a sweet part of my soul. I don’t have a man to nurture and grow so I plants. My green thumb has come into use, and it fulfills me. When my gardenia blooms, I am filled with utter joyJ There is nothing as magical as a garden loving you back and blossoming into beautiful colors and scents. Don’t knock it till you try it.
In the end, us single women must fill our time with self love activities, and enjoy our solitude. We must dig into ourselves and discover and accept who we are! Just because there isn’t a man around to appreciate your beauty and call you sexy, it doesn’t mean you cant give it to yourself in the mean time.
Buy that sexy kimono, cook that dinner for one and ENJOY it, cause guess what??? That day will come when you have the man on the couch and the babies crying, and you’re going to miss your ‘Replacement Sex’.
Click below to hear the song Dreamer.