Guest Blog By: Jay Tinsley
Stop hating on our facial hair. Society hasn’t quite reached a point where a heterosexual man can accessorize so all we have is our facial hair. It’s also pretty much the only thing we do that’s anti-game. Like we realize that most women dislike them but the amount of respect we get from other dudes trumps that. Even the most homophobic man will admit that Anthony Anderson has a perfect beard and that George Michael’s 5 o’clock shadow belongs in the Hall of Fame. Ladies, you should use our beards to your benefit. Unless you’re in a predominately hipster neighborhood, you can derive some good information from a man’s beard. If you see a guy with a beard he’s likely already wifed up because it’s tough to kick game with a beard. In addition, if your boyfriend grows a beard that likely means he has no interest in kicking game to other girls.
Moves like Jagger:
We don’t want to go dancing. Like not at all. Sure we may have danced with you at a bar during our courtship but that’s likely not going to happen again. Guys dance to get girls. Once we have the girl there’s no need to dance anymore. I’m sorry if that ruins any Magic Mike fantasies that you may have but the majority of us either think dancing is stupid or we’re too embarrassed to do it. Interestingly enough we know that if we were proficient dancers it would enhance our game exponentially. Personally I prefer to lie about my dancing skills like the other night when I convinced a girl that I won The Wade Robson Project back in 2001 and was currently a board certified choreographer.
If you send us nudie pics we’re going to forward them to our friends. I’m sorry. What good is the picture if we can’t prove to our friends that we have it? Ladies, there are websites dedicated to the presentation of these types of pictures. Sketchy entrepreneurs everywhere are making millions off these websites because you’re sending or letting some dude take the pictures. I’m not saying you should stop but I think you should know what’s going on.
Recently my girlfriend asked me what kind of game I kick. She didn’t really get to experience it because we met online so now I make sure to let her know which of my behaviors with other women would’ve been considered game if I was single. As a result it’s occurred to me that we’re always mapping out game like a cat burglar casing a joint. We can’t help it, it’s in our DNA. The other night we were at trivia and I explained how I would’ve approached the waitress with tattoo/interesting name game. Is it wack? Yes. Has it ever worked? In point of fact, no but it’s my game dammit. Sometimes the reconnaissance is more extensive particularly when you’re up against a superior security system like in The Italian Job. Something along the lines of “She’s probably 32, 33; clearly still attractive but no longer a Spring chicken. She’s in a good place in her career but not so much in her personal life and is getting tired of being always the bridesmaid, never the bride. She’s no dummy and is quite adept at deflecting wack game so you have to come correct”. To paraphrase the Apple slogan, “There’s a game for that”.
“Binder’s Full of Women:”
The phrase is all but played out at this point but most men keep binders full of women. I’m not talking about a little black book full of women’s phone numbers but more a stable of attractive female friend with which you have a platonic relationship. Why do we do this (particularly those of us that are wifed up)? For one it’s a status symbol. If your friends walk into a bar or party and see that you’ve assembled a plethora of attractive women you’ll get crazy props. More importantly is if those friends are single and are now presented with a bunch of eligible receivers, you won’t pay for a drink for the rest of the night. That makes me sounds like some sort of pimp but it works both ways. I’m constantly chided by my single female friends for not providing them with enough eligible receivers. Unfortunately for them my platonic male friend game is even more inept.
Guest Post: Jay Tinsley. @meted99 ‘Straight male advice on how to deal with dudes.’