Let me start by saying that I’m very excited to write a blog for Dirty and Thirty because even though I’m not 30, I’m still very dirty….and I definitely know better. However, the story I’m about to tell you clearly states that I didn’t know any better, especially when I was new to Los Angeles and was a mere 22 years old.
I moved to LA with my sister and brother, and the first week in the city we were driving around trying to familiarize ourselves with everything, and what better way to do that than to get a map to the stars homes! It’s important to know that I came out here as a dancer and never gave a thought to the fact that I might meet one of my idols. In the dance world, Gene Kelly, of the very famous film “Singin’ in the Rain” is considered by many to be one of the best dancers of all time. Not only was he incredibly hot, he truly was an amazing and gifted dancer. I had a poster of him on my wall growing up, you know that famous picture of him hanging off the lamp post? Yeah, that one.
So there we are, driving around, map in hand and as we started to drive down Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills I said, “OMG, Gene Kelly lives on this street!” (back then I actually said “Oh my God”, not OMG, but now OMG is all you need). I’m looking at the map as we continued down the street and said, “THERE IT IS, THAT’S HIS HOUSE! Pull over, I have to take a picture.” We parked a little bit past his house and there I am hanging out of the passenger side with my camera like an idiot tourist, and I no sooner snapped the picture when Gene Kelly and his wife walk out the front door of the house! Holy shit, I thought I was gonna pass out I was so excited.
I didn’t know what to do because this was my first encounter with a celebrity that I loved and there was no way I could pass up the opportunity to tell him how much I loved him and how much he influenced me as a dancer. And yet, I knew it wasn’t totally appropriate to go up to him, but what if I never have this chance again? So I went for it. I dragged my brother with me. We proceeded to chase him and his 30 year old wife down the street, and I mean we were literally running after him (by the way, he was about 80 years old at the time). I ran up to him and just started spewing stupid shit like “Mr. Kelly, I’m a dancer from Philadelphia and I’ve seen all your movies and you’ve been such a big influence on me and I just love you so much and….blah blah blah.” I was such a star-struck moron! Looking back, I can’t believe I did that. Well, don’t you know he’s just looking at me like a confused old man, and when I wouldn’t shut up, he finally just put his hands up in a way that said “okay crazy, back off.” He didn’t say anything, he just put his hands up. He may as well have been holding a “STOP” sign. He clearly wanted me to get the hell away from him.
Well, this crushed me. I couldn’t believe my idol didn’t want to hear my star-struck, complimentary bullshit. But he was clear with his message which stopped my diarrhea of the mouth and finally shut me up. Completely dejected, my brother and I turned away from him, and as we were walking back to the car, I said “Gene Kelly is kind of a dick.” Of course, he wasn’t really a dick, he was just an old man out for a stroll with his ridiculously young wife. I mean, if that was Frank Sinatra his response probably would have been more like, “Get the fuck of here you crazy broad.”
So, the moral of the story for anyone who is a star-struck idiot, is to keep your stupid mouth shut and stay in your car if you happen to see a celebrity. They pretend that they love their fans, and maybe they do, as long as you don’t chase them down the street.