Type #5: The Hippie/Nature Boy
Location: Outside, of course! Durrrrrr. This guy suffocates indoors. He needs to be at one with nature at all times possible. He loves destination outdoors trips, either local (Joshua Tree, Burning Man, Yosemite, etc) or anywhere else adventurous in the world.
Distinguishing Characteristics: He is very fit, but in a lean, “I only stop hiking/biking/climbing to eat for nourishment” kind of way. No time to waste on large meals – there is too much to see and do! He is often overly tan, or burnt to a crisp. These are your only two options. There is no such thing as a pale nature boy unless he is a complete poser. He is most likely covered in a sheen of sweat at all times. Bathing is not high on his list either, unless he happens upon a waterfall or a mountain stream. Footwear is exclusively hiking boots, Birkenstocks, or Toms – unless he can be barefoot, then of COURSE he will. Some might venture so far as to wear those running shoes that look like rubber feet with the toes and all that. Clothing is strictly utilitarian, if he must wear it: cargo shorts, always. He wears as little as possible on top, but hats are very dear to this man…they are how he shields his eyes from the sun. When do you see nature boys in sunglasses?
Red Flags: He is not to be kept indoors – he will go batshit crazy. Do not expect this dude to have a traditional job or to sit in an office all day. He is a free spirit and he will act like one! This does not have to be a red flag, but if you crave stability and regularity – probably not your guy. He lives for adventure and constant stimulus and change. He will look for adaptability and the willingness to do anything, anytime from a partner. He might be very unreliable, unstable and always “between jobs”, and when he works it will very well be an outdoorsy adrenaline junkie job. It might be dangerous and he might not make a lot of money! These are all issues you need to take into consideration, as addictive and refreshing as his lust for adventure may seem. He won’t understand your concerns, or be very respectful of them. He has no frame of reference to see where you are coming from. Prudence and caution are not admirable traits in this man’s eyes.
How To Handle Him: You simply must be well-suited to him to date him. If you have this same spirit of adventure, daring, and fun, this is the guy for you. If you crave someone who is up for anything and gung-ho about life, this is definitely your man. (Can you tell I have a soft spot for these dudes?) Otherwise, just give up. If you are a homebody couch potato, you won’t keep him around. You just won’t, and you shouldn’t be dating him.
“Can’t wait for this year’s trip to Half-Dome, man. I’m already planning it all out.”
“I don’t know about all that cushy resort stuff – I like to rough it. Sleeping bag under the stars, baby!”
“Indoor plumbing is way overrated.”
“Joshua Tree is just amazing. It’s so open and spiritual. You really feel like one with nature, and the world.”
“I wear as little clothing as I can get away with!”
“You’ve never been to Yosemite? What have you been doing with your life?”
“If it’s physically possible, you can bet I’ve climbed it.”
“If you need to borrow my hiking or camping gear, lemme know. I got everything you could ever want!”
“Don’t be scared. It’s just a bear/mountain lion/wolf. No big deal.”
“Sorry, I actually like being out on the slopes. I don’t get chilling in the cabin. I can do that anywhere.”