booty_call_xlg
A Guys Response to BOOTY CALL RULES- HOW DO YOU KEEP SEX CASUAL?
by dirtyandthirty

Christian Correa responds to BOOTY CALL RULES- HOW DO YOU KEEP SEX CASUAL? by AMY HORTON

He said:

Well said, Horton!

You’re rules are spot on, and using them as a guideline should help lower the chances of someone F’ing it all up with “feelings’.  But, like most situations in life, even with total honesty, things can still get messy.  Because people can be dense and like to disregard things you blatantly say to their face.  In English.  Multiple times.  So, with that in mind, I’d like to add a few more:

 

-Stick with first names.  Last names lead to Googling, and Googling leads to Facebook, and Facebook leads to “Who the fuck is Susan!”   Plus, you’re never gonna take his last name anyway, so why learn it?

 

-No Habla Ingles? Perfecto!  The language barrier is a great excuse to converse strictly with your naughty bits. Have the urge to plunk down $300 on Rosetta Stone to better know your lover? Get. The Fuck. Out.

 

- Start every text (Haha, NEVER call!) with: “Warning! This is strictly a Booty Call. I repeat, strictly a Booty Call!”

 

-Lay a pile of old clothes (or an old dumpster mattress) outside the window.  Then, as soon as sex is over, get a running start (necessary to smash through double paned glass) and hurl yourself out said window.  Doesn’t matter what floor you’re on, doesn’t matter if it’s YOU’RE house, the goal here is to send a clear signal:  NO CUDDLING!

 

-If at all possible, have sex with a robot. It may be uncomfortable, and the chance of it ripping your arms out of your sockets goes WAY up, but they are incapable of falling in love. And that’s the point, right?

 

She Said:

BOOTY CALL RULES- HOW DO YOU KEEP SEX CASUAL? by AMY HORTON

 

Christian Correa @correacomedy
Writer/ Comedian. Moved to LA. Grew a beard. Bought a flannel. I’m almost there.
Share

One Response to A Guys Response to BOOTY CALL RULES- HOW DO YOU KEEP SEX CASUAL?

  1. Amy says:

    Amazing – love it! I think you should respond to everything I write. :)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>