So, I’ve been extremely busy lately. Running around, working constantly, going on auditions, writing, making video blogs, going on job interviews, busy busy busy. In between everything I eat, I sleep, I see my friends, I work out, and try to fit in some relaxation once in a while.
There’s only one problem. I don’t really know what the hell I’m doing.
I’m busy, but for what? I’m always doing something, but what am I really working towards? Not really knowing what I want is starting to scare me. It seems like the majority of my friends are in the same boat. Instead of comforting me, it bothers me greatly. Why are we so lost? We are a smart, talented, caring and motivated group of people. What is going wrong? This wasn’t a problem when I was 22. Now that I’m 28 and still feel uncertain, I’m having a bit of a continuous anxiety attack.
I suppose this goes along with pursuing a career in the arts, or pursuing any kind of a career with a non-traditional path. I see so many people I knew back in the Midwest who went the time-honored route: they graduated college, got a 9-to-5 in their field, got married, had some kids, climbed the ladder slowly but surely.
I’ve always detested that path, and never wanted it for myself. Now I still feel similarly but can definitely understand the appeal. Everything is basically laid out for you. There is security, there is stability. As I get older I appreciate those things much more than I did in my early twenties.
I suppose all we can do is soldier on and keep working towards our goals, no matter what. Otherwise there truly is no hope at success. I hear that everyone feels this way in their twenties…I also hear people in their fifties saying you never really figure it out, you just live the best that you can. I am definitely eternally grateful for the support and love of my friends and family. Without all of you, how would I ever make it through? A strong support network is the only way to survive a quarter-life crisis, I promise you.
I hope that this resonates with a few of you, that you know that it isn’t just you. It’s not because you aren’t good enough, smart enough, motivated enough, or talented enough. It is just a complicated and revealing time in our lives. Hopefully we come out on the other side wiser. I have learned more about myself in this one year than I did the last four. Here’s to all of us growing, developing, and figuring it all out.