As much as I appreciate my friend’s and family’s advice, sometimes it’s hard to listen to since I already know their point of view. It’s always skewered by their personal experiences and their well-meaning agendas for me. When I need objectivity, I call in my All Star Support Team for back up.
This really works for me and I suggest you do the same. The All Star Support Team will be made up of people whose opinions and outlook on life you admire and who are not vested in you in anyway. My team and I meet daily. It includes: Meryl Streep, Bridget Jones and Katniss Everdeen.
I am prone to worry. For example, my birthday is coming up and I’m planning on having some drinks with some friends. This starts to stress me out and I begin to have toxic thoughts 1) no-one really wants to come but they feel like they have to 2) no-one will have a good time 3) everyone would rather be someplace else. This is when I call on my All Star Support Team
Meryl: Where are these thoughts getting you? Nowhere.
Bridget: You’re lovely. Really. If they didn’t want to see you, they’d come up with an excuse. Lord knows I’ve made my fair share of excuses to get out of things. It’s one of the easiest things to do and they are not doing so. You’re lovely. Really.
Katniss: NO ONE IS HIDING IN THE BUSHES AND TRYING TO HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU.
And that helps me a lot.
Sometimes I think that I’m feeling a little behind in my life. I’m thirty, in the midst of a career change and single. Again my All Star Support Team comes to the rescue.
Meryl: You have the next 40 years to work; you are definitely not behind at all. I just won my third Oscar. Did I ever think that I’d be winning an Oscar so late in life? Enjoy. Relax. Breathe.
I try and breathe with Meryl and she does some sort of graceful twirl.
Bridget: I can totally relate to what you are going through. When I was your age, I was right where you are now. Unhappy, bloated, a singleton. But I was proactive; I searched for a new job. I made some missteps along the way, but they were all steps that lead me to the right place. Plus, a little booze and cigs never hurt. Right?
Bridget and I clink glasses and take a drink. I tell her she shouldn’t smoke.
Katniss: Think of Rue. Think of my dear Prim. They’re both dead. NO ONE HUNTED YOU DOWN AND TRIED TO KILL YOU ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.
This always puts things into perspective.
Now and then Meryl and I will have heart to heart. She tells me that everything is going to be okay. She tells me I should concentrate on bettering myself; sleeping enough, going to the gym, eating right. She asks if I take a multi vitamin and when I tell her no, she says that I’ve really got to start listening to her. Sometimes, I just stare at her cheeks because for some reason or another, I find Meryl Streep’s cheeks very calming.
Now and then Bridget and I will have a heart to heart. She’ll tell me that she understands what it feels like to be alone and unhappy in a job. She commends me for never shagging my boss. I show her his picture on Facebook and she agrees that she wouldn’t be interested him either.
Now and then Katniss and I will have a heart to heart. She tells me that she doesn’t mean to yell at me all the time and that she understands that sometimes it’s hard to feel like you don’t have control over your life, that it feels like other people are determining your fate. And then Katniss takes my hand, gives it a squeeze that at first is reassuring but then her grip begins to hurt my hand, her eyes glaze over, and she yells, NO ONE IS HUNTING YOU DOWN AND TRYING TO KILL YOU.
And I feel better.