We hear all the time how women control the dating world. Women are the ones who get asked for their numbers, social media contacts (new age stuff) and out on dates.
Ultimately, it is up to her as to whether she wants to engage with this person or accept their proposals. Guys and masculine presenting women who date women are at the mercy of how the woman feels about the prospect of dating them off of, usually, just one casual encounter.
Well, though this is true, it is somewhat misleading. Women are in control of accepting or declining potential suitors, no doubt about that, but only from the dating pool of those interested in them.
What I mean by this is most women never really get to choose the person that they are interested in and pursue them based on what they like or what they find attractive.
Instead, women choose whom they find the most attractive out of those who are attracted to them. This gives women less chances of finding someone they truly desire or are truly a match with.
Basically, women have been socialized to settle when it comes to dating.
When you pursue a mate, it’s you going after what you want even if you get rejected. So while guys and masculine presenting women are out chasing what they want most women have to hope they are attracting what they want.
As a result of this, after entering a relationship, a lot of women seek to change their partner. Which isn’t good for any relationship. In some cases they will keep attracting the same type of people over and over because they haven’t been proactive in trying to attract different.
I feel if women were more aggressive about what they want, whether actually courting potential mates directly or convincing their love interest to pursue them indirectly, they would be much happier in relationships and the dating scene.
It is empowering to go after what you want in any aspect of life, why should dating be any different?
Now, I know a lot of women cringe at the thought of rejection but this is a small price to pay for a chance at a real love match, right?
I realize that due to old fashioned tradition it seems a bit unorthodox for women to just be out here pursuing mates but it’s 2017. Let’s shake it up.
Guest Blog: Jessica Wright
I am a writer/blogger, indie artist born in Brooklyn, NY. I love women, food, and philosophy. Connect with me @ihoodscholar on twitter. Progress or Die.