Taking Your Online Dating Profile “From Fizzle to Sizzle”
By John Netto
With the New Year upon us and Valentine’s day just six weeks away, the search for companionship has a clear catalyst. But searching for someone to cuddle during the colder winter months is daunting. Consequently, many of us turn to online dating sites. With such a large number of people using online dating services to meet people, standing above the crowd can present tremendous opportunities to meet that special someone you might not meet through traditional methods.
Yet, courting online has its own unique set of challenges. One in particular is finding the most effective way to convey your attributes in order to attract the right type of person. Then that watershed moment arises as we stare at the blank screen, the cursor mocking our hesitation, “What do I say?”
Let’s take another perspective and sing another tune. There is a solution building a powerful online dating profile that can be summed up in four words …
“Tell me a story”…
And, tell it to me quickly. Our media culture focused on instant gratification exacerbates our A.D.D personalities. The reality is that most of us don’t stay on one subject for very long. As a repeat offender of having at least two web browsers open (each with 6 tabs) while surfing an online dating site, if a profile doesn’t seize my attention, then in the blink of an eye I’m onto someone else.
Below is my Match.com profile that I am using here in NYC. The story is based on an experience that happened to me a few years ago, and I decided to share it with anyone who stopped by to check out my profile. The response was overwhelming:
About Him & Who He’s Looking For
Into the subway car walked the quintessence of a Manhattan woman. She was unapologetically confident, meticulously fashioned, and carrying the hottest accoutrement I had ever seen – a novel written in French. My world stopped. I had to talk to her or suffer through the anguish of “what could have been”.
At the time I was a neophyte to NYC subway protocol, but there was an unmistakable energy compelling me to migrate closer. My two colleagues, fixated on the turmoil in the markets of Fall of 2008, continued talking. However, my half-hearted attempts at participating in their dialogue distracted me from pursuing my true interests.
Suddenly, as quickly as she came, she departed. I commented, with a defeated tone to my market buddies, that the woman who had just walked off was exactly the kind of lady I would love tocourt. As my curiosity got the better of me, I looked in the direction she was walking and saw she was boarding the subway across the platform. Simultaneously, she turned around and our eyes met…she gifted me a blithe smile and I took that as my cue to proceed.
I informed my confreres, “I’ll be seeing ya”…confidently walking across the platform it dawns on me I have no clue as to what I’m going to say. I had never done anything like this and my heart was racing to the point it felt like it was going to explode.
In the few seconds before approaching my moment of truth, I reflected on what my success coach espouses, “the best thing to do or say is often the most uncomfortable at the time”. No truer words have ever been spoken, or more difficult to follow…
As I boarded the subway, she looked up at me with a huge smile… “I had to come over and say hi, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight…Now you wouldn’t want that on your conscience would you?” was what I ultimately reconciled myself to say, as I tried to channel my Inner-Casanova…
The fellow passengers were being treated to a scene out of a romantic comedy. In the course of attempting to impress this young lady, our conversation had managed to aggregate quite an audience. So now the pressure to perform added to the moment.
She asked me where I was from, as she would later disclose “NYC guys don’t make moves like that”. I informed her I had just moved from California eight days ago and was instantly in love with NYC, the people, and the energy.
Before I could ask another question, my believed-to-be abandoned colleague narrowly boards the train and proclaims in his Russian accent, “John, you have three stops to close her!”. Our damsel incredulously raised her eyebrow and says with a certain NYC swagger, “No John, you have one stop to close me!”…
Following an exchange of information, this memorable experience added one final Manhattan twist. She shared with me in a later phone call she was a lesbian and smitten with her muse in Texas…Alas, our protagonist continues on his journey…
With warmth and love, One Shot in Life
The problem with many online dating profiles is that they contain too much information and too little inspiration. The profiles don’t capture anyone’s attention! By sharing my story on my profile, I convey my attributes in a memorable way: spontaneous, romantic, intelligent, courageous, decisive, and loves NYC. If the reader can deduce your attributes through a memorable story, then you can increase your chances of attracting the type of match you desire.
John Netto is single and lives in NYC and Las Vegas as a commodities trader, sports bettor, and dating consultant. John is an author, speaks Japanese and Chinese, and appears regularly on financial media stations such as Fox Business, CNBC, and Bloomberg. His direct email is email@example.com and can be followed on twitter @JohnNetto