“Are you ever going to get pregnant? Are you thinking about having kids after 8-years of marriage? Can you have kids? Why don’t you have a baby yet?”
These are questions that plague me and my husband’s life from time to time. Never mind that, number one, this is a personal decision and number two, we lead busy professional lives, him as a spirits rep in Florida and me as, now, a new career as a full-time high school teacher and formerly a full-time journalist…there have been times we have felt our successes are less because we haven’t provided the world with a child. These questions have driven me to tears over stress…then I gather my strength up again and realize that it’s normal, a lot of women get stressed over societal norms and I move on…but it takes a moment sometimes to pick myself up again.
“Have you lost weight? You look great! You could use to lose a few pounds, work out more…there are great ways you can do that!”
These are also questions that I get all the time. Lose a few pounds, people see it. Gain a couple, same thing. It seems like as women, we are supposed to only fit one standard of beauty and not a variety…I know that’s not true, but how many of us have felt stressed and upset when these comments and questions are thrown our way? Little do people see, in our private lives, the efforts we go through to lead a healthy lifestyle. It all becomes about so-called appearance and what people see on social media or “unflattering” pictures people might tag.
Enter Jennifer Aniston, actress extraordinaire, to save the day with an amazing blog on The Huffington Post. In it, she discusses her feelings about the state of the media, her feelings on the next generation of women that are watching what’s going on in the world, and the fact that one creates their own happiness. Case in point, this gem of a quote on her blog: “Here’s where I come out on this topic: we are complete with or without a mate, with or without a child. We get to decide for ourselves what is beautiful when it comes to our bodies. That decision is ours and ours alone. Let’s make that decision for ourselves and for the young women in this world who look to us as examples. Let’s make that decision consciously, outside of the tabloid noise. We don’t need to be married or mothers to be complete. We get to determine our own “happily ever after” for ourselves.”
With that said, Jennifer has just become my new hero. Reading that made me smile. Let it be noted, this is NOT about criticizing any choice you make with your life…it’s about realizing that you can be happy in many different ways. For me, happiness is being healthy, happy with my husband Sebastian and cat Luna, happy in my career, happy with my family and friends being ok…my happiness might not be yours, but it works for me. Choose what makes you happy and live with it with a big smile on your face, spreading joy everywhere you go. For me, I am not saying I am unhappily married or don’t want a child…but when and if I make that decision it will be for me and my husband to decide. For now, listen to Jennifer’s advice and make your own “happily ever after.” Whatever that might be, I am sure it’s fabulous!
What are your thoughts on Jennifer’s message? Let me know at @AuroraMiami and us know at @DirtyandThirty.com. Enjoy your chosen happiness!