old-man-laughing
You Sure Like To Eat!
by Jennifer Pastiloff

As I was standing in line at Trader Joe’s yesterday, minding my own sweet business, I opened a package of dried seaweed (the new wasabi kind which is very, very spicy). An older ( very much older, most likely born in the 1800′s) man in line in front of me starts staring at my breasts first, then proceeds to look me up and down. With what sounded like a Russian accent comes, ” You sure like to eat!!”

What the what? in the words of my beloved Tina Fey.

“I am not even sure how to take what you just said to me.” (Why I dignified him with even so much as a word is beyond me.)

Russian accent, “You’ll put on weight if you keep eating.”

Then he walks away. Off to offer his sage wisdom to another unsuspecting stranger, I am sure.

I felt the old need to yell, “But it’s just seaweed! But I am a yoga teacher! Are you calling me fat?”

Then I got angry at myself. Jennifer, you know better! I think I said this out loud but the people that work at Trader Joe’s are totally cool (I hear it’s not a bad place to work, you get good benefits) and my cashier didn’t even acknowledge it, but rather says ” You look great.”

Again, besides the point! Nothing needs defending here. This creepy old fart, all of a sudden, has taken my power away, and, like magic, everyone, on cue seemingly, needs to make excuses and defend and justify the very, very evil: FOOD. As well as commenting on my figure and it’s curves or lack thereof.

Such a statement on our weight/food obsessed culture. Even from an old nosy man, I am getting flack for being too fat or too skinny or eating too much or not enough.

Amazingly, I had just published this article on Fear and overcoming an eating disorder.

Here is an excerpt from that article:

I had a fear that people would stop asking me “Are you ill? ”  It made me feel like I stood out. Like I was special. When someone told me I looked “healthy,” I panicked. (I know that this is hard to believe for the people who know me now, especially my students. I am so at ease with my self these days. Most days.)

Had the COF ( Creepy Old Fart) said this to me ten years ago, I would have gotten back into my car and had a full blown panic attack. I would have decided that he was right and I eat too much so I would stop eating and lose weight and why was I such a loser and why and why and Oh My God and I can’t breathe and I am a pig and Oh My God and I will just exercise for 4 hours tomorrow and I do like to eat, he’s right, I am bad….

( The pleasant imitation of said panic attack.)

So many things ran through my blood besides ice after this incident with Mr. Nosy.

Incidentally, he was buying 3 frozen dinners and a case of water. That can be analyzed later. ( Of course I peeked. You would have too.)

The way he said “You like to eat!” as an accusation, like I should be burned alive at the stake. I realize a lot of women live like this ( I am sure men as well). I used to. This notion that eating is something to be ashamed of or forgiven for. I cannot believe the thought crossed my mind to defend myself with it just being seaweed. Forgive me Sir, It is just seaweed with a little wasabi. It’s not much? I am so sorry.

And so what if someone gains weight? This is the other thing I have been thinking about since this incident. So what? Then what? You are no longer you? You will no longer have your job or your kids or your thoughts or memories? No one will love you?

I suppose that is it. Once again, people equating their beloved self worth with their oh-so very temporary bodies.

I wish I had dug into my car for my Salt & Vinegar Chips, which I would have done had I been able to reach them.

And just a side note which I would like to make very public: YES I LIKE TO EAT! I LOVE TO EAT! 

 

 

JENNIFER PASTILOFF
www.jenniferpastiloff.com
www.manifestationyoga.com
@manifestyogajen

Jennifer Pastiloff

I am a lover of life, laughter, poetry, yoga and a really good glass of wine. I created Manifestation Yoga, which is all about causing serious breakthroughs in your life without being too serious. My rule of “If you fall you must laugh and take down your neighbor” is Strictly enforced! I teach all over Los Angeles and also in Philadelphia & NJ at Dhyana Yoga. I travel the world teaching workshops and leading retreats. My nephew Blaise was recently diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder called Prader Wille Syndrome (PWS) which prompted me to start GAME Yoga. Gifts And Miracles Everyday: Free Yoga for Kids w/ Special Needs. It’s also a really good excuse for me to be around kids whom I generally loved more than the average adult. I am also a poet, and in the process of writing a book. I firmly believe that you can manifest whatever it is you want in your life. I am partially deaf and wear hearing aids. I spent 13 years working in the same restaurant and I believe that everyone should have a job in the service industry at least once in their life. It’s good for the soul. www.jenniferpastiloff.com www.manifestationyoga.com

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6 Responses to You Sure Like To Eat!

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  3. Wow, sorry to hear, maybe the guy had alzheimers or demensia or some kind of mental instability. You get a lot of weirdoes in Trader Joes, hope your next trip to Trader Joes goes better.

    • Daniel says:

      Thanks for keeping it real, Jen! I nedeed this support today. Intertwining issues of weight and self worth have been my reality for as long as I can remember. I have been told since I was about 6 that my body was fat and unacceptable, and have found there is always some kind of pop culture diet you can do, a smaller size you can reach, a harder exercise regime that will cleanse you of all your transgressions and make you a good person.But, this I have found to be constant: if you love yourself, love your choices, and celebrate your own happiness, haters disappear. And if the odd ones slip through the cracks and seek to tell me my body is doesn’t match their standards of acceptable female beauty, they are met with a hearty go fuck yourself.

  4. Amy says:

    Love! Your journey towards loving yourself and the world is, as always, inspiring and uplifting. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Isabel says:

    Yup, I’m right there with you JP. I’ve spent SO many years wondering what they were going to think of me (here comes the sdalcanous word ) eating. Like someone was going to see me eat and yell Hey you, fat girl, why are you eating, you don’t need that, put it down . I now know that all that time spent making myself wrong for being voLUMPtuous rather than spending that time affirming the fact that I FIT, FIRM, SEXY & STRONG was a waste of time that only attracted more things that also felt bad to me. The moment I learned to love me, I began to make choices that made me feel good, and my body became something I loved that also made me feel good.I am sure that yucky, oblivious old man (who reminds me of my grandfather, by the way) would have sent me off on an obsessive exercising/dieting rage a few years ago, too. I’m proud of you for catching yourself before you did, Jen, reminding yourself that YOU ARE AN INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, an absolutely perfect human being who gives so much to others by being and sharing Your Essential Self.With so much love and appreciation for all you are and do xoxo, AllynAllyn Cioban, RYTYoga Teacher, creator of Affirmation Flow Yoga & Your Essential Self (YES) Workshop

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