When I was a kid, at the end of each year, I had to fill a little “life book” with musings about my best friends and teachers; my favorite hobbies, what I had accomplished and what I wanted to do when I was older… As I matured, it grew quite interesting to see how my language, circle of friends, tastes, thought processes and future career ideas developed – and I never quite knew what turn my life would take. I begin to realize that each one of us are like sponges – absorbing all that we can and grabbing pieces of knowledge here and there – and one day, like a puzzle, we finally get to see the whole image. Though I’m not yet “old,” it does seem like a puzzle has come out – a taboo picture that I never could’ve conceived (nor known about) – and it’s still a bit of a surprise for me. As it turns out, the shy, studious girl who always got great grades – and though very socially active within her small circle of friends, never was a flirt and never wanted to work in the stripping or porn industry – began a career online as a webcam performer.
You see, I’ve always wanted to be independent… Over time, I had grown tired of working for others and I simply wanted to work from home (with no commute and with the hours that I wanted). So one day, while browsing the internet, I stumbled across a web-cam site where not much was going on except a girl sitting in her bra at a computer desk, and typing to guests visiting her room. At the time, I thought it was just another Internet scam designed to make people spend money on recorded videos that were supposed to be live but as it turned out, I was wrong. The girl was there, live and for real.
The thought of personally trying it out slowly simmered in my mind for awhile and I finally decided, why not? Sexually, I’d always had a curiosity for exhibitionism and voyeurism – and I already had a few sex toys (as I enjoyed self-play and exploring my sexuality) – and it seemed to be simple and easy; with no consequences. After all, who doesn’t have Internet and a computer with a camera these days? So I told myself I’d test it out for a week and then I dove right in. I expected lots of sexual play to be the way to make money, but the site I started with (and still am with), Jasmin.com, was one of the sites where you tease for free, but only engage in real sexual play when you’re in a private, one-on-one chat with a member, so it worked out great! With this new project, I had discovered a way to be independent – and to explore another level of my sexuality – and I was curious, nervous, and excited about the prospects!
I never thought I would last more than few weeks – or be very good at it – but yet here I am, five and a half years later, still doing it and loving it! Physically, I’m far from the top-model type; as I’m actually athletically petite with small breasts, but it didn’t take long for me to become confident, and I’ve had so much fun doing it! I’ve slowly created my own online space – with a room that reflects who I am and the things that I like – and I get to share it with people who are interested in me and share the same affinities. Beyond the pleasure and sexual explorations, I’ve also discovered different kinds of people (with different cultures and personalities) from all over the world, as well as my own evolution as a person. Many things that have built me as a person throughout my life (ballet, yoga, music, and a social and psychological interest in people) have allowed me to excel at this medium and far exceed my expectations! There is never a night that is the same – and if I am not in the mood, I don’t have to turn on the camera. However, most of the time, when I’m there, I simply lose all sense of space and time. Somehow, in 2013, I was voted as “Best Webcam Girl” for the Sex Awards and then in 2014, as “Favorite Webcam Girl” for the AVN Awards – and I can still barely believe this amazing miracle happened to me! I feel so flattered – especially since it proves looks aren’t all there is and the simplest person (like me) can succeed – and I think really, that’s the real charm of webcamming. I was always under the impression I was simply having a good time in my apartment, but people made me realize I had turned this into an actual career. Now, I’m the one setting the limits, and when I’m online, it never feels like a job.
Although some women treat this “Cam Girl” gig as a part-time job – perhaps because they want to go shopping or are bored and don’t want to hang out alone – I’m very passionate about it, and I do it full time. Though it probably isn’t for everybody, there’s really no way to find out unless you try it. As time goes on, I continue to grow as a person, and by doing so, my career is continuallly expanding and becoming even more exciting – I created my own site and an online store, and I’ve even developed an afiliate website allowing new models to gain exposure. I never expected my decision to try having fun on camera to become a potential money maker, but I’m very happy I made my decision – and although I can’t predict where all of this will lead me, I’m crossing my fingers it will be somewhere good!
Guest blog by @LittleRedBunnyX