“I revealed too much too soon. I was emotionally slutty.” – Carrie Bradshaw
It’s a fine balance to know when/what/how much to say, but I think we’ve seen too many movies where if the girl or the guy would have just said what they were thinking…everything would have been okay?! I think this line of thinking is unhealthy and one of desperation! If you find yourself in this hole, start hollering for some rope. DO NOT JUST CHILL here and see how much further down you can go. This is dating suicide.
Keep in mind, we develop intimacy and bond with people by sharing intimate details of our lives. Moving too quickly is like physically stepping in someone’s personal space. It’s uncomfortable. The interest-switch instantly flicks off when there is an imbalance of sharing because you haven’t developed a solid “circle of trust.” Sharing intimate details bonds us because they aren’t something we would just share with anyone, so don’t just give them to anyone!
When you feel that urge to get slutty and start letting someone in too quickly – immediately push it back on them and ask them more questions about THEM. It’s a known fact that people who listen are considered great “conversationalists” without even talking? Why? Because they let the other person talk about themselves….and people love talking about themselves! Win someone over by listening, not by crowding their personal space!
I’m not saying you shouldn’t say what you need to say but do it with dignity for goodness sake. Brevity is key.
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